Thursday, January 30, 2014

Weed-ventures #2 + New Years' stuff

Again, sorry for the long gap in between posts. Just figure I'd do an all-in-one post featuring the second installment to "Weed-ventures" and a general update on what's been going on.

I suppose I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first. In early December, something happened to me that really shook me up:

I got caught. After a year and a half of successfully hiding it, my parents caught me smoking. Well, it wasn't so much that I got caught, so much that it was I got snitched on.

As the story goes, G-man had been absolutely itching to smoke. Couldn't even talk about anything else. I had an extra $20 on me that he persuaded me to give to him towards about 10 grams of reggie. We knew a guy that sold it for 2 dollars a gram, which is even cheaper than reggie normally is, which seemed pretty cool. We picked the stuff up at the Flying J, but we couldn't smoke yet since G-man had work, so we agreed to wait until later that night.

I went to the store with my mom to pick a few things up, and it was pretty late by the time we got back. Bex was gonna smoke with us, and she'd already shown up by that point. I put away all the groceries, then waited til my mom left and went outside with Bex to G-man's truck. We hotboxed for a while and then went straight back inside. That was our first mistake. We didn't air ourselves out or spray anything.

Anyways we honestly weren't all that high, we just sat down in my room and talked as I started to play "Chris Dolmeth" by Hopsin. Not even half an hour later, I hear my mom pounding on my door. Now let me stop the story right here to tell you something. I have a rule. Don't try to get my attention when my door is locked. I don't care if I'm shooting up black tar heroin while performing illegal experiments on a human body. Do. Not. Fucking. Bother. Me. When. My. Door. Is. Locked. That clear? Anyways I opened it, and my mom simply asks who has marijuana. I wasn't acting high at all, so I simply said we didn't, but that answer wasn't good enough for her. The bitch has a superhuman sense of smell, and it's gotten close to ruining my life many times before this one. Bex covers up for me by saying that she had some before she came over, but again, that isn't good enough. G-man starts acting sketchy but ultimately also says we didn't have any.

I don't remember much of the next half-hour. I have a very prominent love-hate relationship with my mother, mainly because she does a lot of Xanax and other pills, and therefore has mood swings, but in any case, all the hate spewed out that night. I raged so hard that I blacked out. I was told that I threatened to kill my mother, but I have no memory of saying anything like that. Finally, G-man and Bex left because they both had work early the next day, and I was pretty pissed that my session got ruined, and that I'd lost my appetite. I'm currently trying to gain weight, so I cannot afford to skip any meals.

I try to regain my composure, and G-man decides to come back and see if we're okay. I try to talk it out, but he insists I leave the room so they can talk alone. He says I can still listen in on what they say through the door. I initially object to this because I know he's going to talk bad about me, but he fiercely denies he will do such a thing, and forces me to leave. I have less say in my own house than my cats. I'm 21 fucking years old and I get treated like I'm 12.

He starts off being true to his word, but then tells my mom that we in fact, did smoke that night, then proceeds to spill out every secret I foolishly trusted him with over the past few years. I can't describe what I was going through as I heard this. I tried opening the door lock with my knife, and even threatened to bash down the door with a sword. They completely ignored me as I screamed in utter terror and agony. My whole body was shaking. They finally let me in and I did my best to explain myself, but it was no use.

My mother is one of the most extremist Christians I know, and her morals are years behind. Needless to say, she has a zero-tolerance policy for weed. She didn't actually do anything to me other than have me give the weed to G-man, but I was crushed because her opinion of me was forever changed. I happen to deeply care about what others think of me, especially family members. I should also later note that my mother had to worsen things by telling the rest of my family what happened, effectively ruining my relationship with them.

I got every pill I could find in the house and contemplated ending my disheveled existence for a solid hour before finally deciding against it and going to sleep. I wasn't much better the next day. My body was shaking, I was horribly nauseous, and I couldn't eat anything. My mother and who I thought was one of my best friends had destroyed me over something that wasn't my fault. I sought help on the Grasscity forums, which had a nice community that welcomed me and gave me a good bit of helpful advice, and from there, began the slow process of healing.

What was the lesson to be learned here? Don't smoke weed? More like don't trust anybody. Remember how in my last post I said that G-man is someone I can always count on? Well, you can forget I ever said that. In regards to all the events that transpired that night, fuck him. He's an unstable, volatile person who swallowed one too many aspirin and bottles of cough syrup. This doesn't mean I won't associate with him anymore, but I'm sure as hell not trusting him.

As for how to move forward after this? Well, I'm going to move out as soon as anyone will hire me, which could be a while considering this is Waco. If I'm by myself, I'll be able to smoke as much as I damn well please. For good measure, I'll get myself a safe because it drives me up the wall when people go through my things. Will I put weed and paraphernalia in there? That's no one's business but my own, and with a locked safe, it'll stay that way.

I'm in no way ashamed to admit that I smoke marijuana. It's my life, I'll do what I want with it. No one dictates what I can and can't do but me. Aside from that night, weed has had only positive effects on me and has helped me out a lot in the long run. As for it's legal status, the world is finally realizing that marijuana is completely harmless to your body, and will be made legal nationwide very soon, so I have little to worry about. It's time to make some progress for once.

Moving on from that craziness, New Years was pretty fun. I hung out with some friends, blazed up a few bowls, found a shiny Ninetales, and had the best munch session ever at iHop. Overall 2013 was an interesting year. There were plenty of great games, awesome music, memorable movies, and most importantly great friendships formed.. I honestly can't think of much to say about it without trailing off. I thought this part of the post would go on a bit longer, but I honestly can't think of anything to add. So far, this year is starting out all right. I still don't have another job, but I have a lot of fun times ahead of me. All the pain and turmoil has made me stronger than ever.

Lastly, as of posting this, it has been exactly one year since the fateful day I saw the lovely and talented Lady Gaga live at the Born This Way Ball at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. It doesn't feel like it's been that long, but I guess that's what happens when someone leaves that much of a lasting impression on you. I'll never forget that night, and I'll be seeing her again this July at the ARTPOP Ball! I have general admission this time around, so I'll be able to look her directly in the eye. <3 *sigh*

Anyways, my next post will be the long-overdue fourth part of my creepypasta. I'll probably post another weed-ventures after that. See you soon! ~