My unpopular opinion: Dark Souls Vs. Dark Souls II.

A major complaint among the gaming fanbase today is that modern games are just too easy. A lot of more recent titles are easy to blaze through in one or two sittings due to the advent of things like generous amounts of checkpoints, regenerating health, and "pay to win" games. Players often have to impose their own challenges or switch to the highest difficulty setting to get a more satisfying experience. However, in more recent years, a lot of difficult games seem to have emerged. Notable examples include I Wanna Be The Guy, Super Meat Boy, and the subject of this post: From Software's critically acclaimed Souls series.

It wasn't always as popular as it is today, however. The first game in the series was the 2009 PS3 exclusive, Demon's Souls. It was a relatively short game, but it was brutally difficult. Everything was stronger than you. Mistakes did not go unpunished, and new players weren't given any breaks. If you died, it was your fault. Checkpoints were few and far between, and to top it all off, you could be "invaded" by other players at any time if you were connected to PSN, and they could and would kill you. The game was somewhat popular, but it was more of a sleeper hit with a cult following.

A surprising amount of big-name titles were released during the second half of 2011, such as Saints Row The Third and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, and one of them was Demon's Souls' spiritual successor, Dark Souls. Due to the huge amount of hype built up for this game, it was much more popular than its precursor, and became a huge hit. Like Demon's Souls, it was mostly known for its brutal, unforgiving difficulty. You were thrust into the dying world of Lordran with a vague objective and whatever items you started off with. This game offered no hand-holding. You had to figure out everything for yourself, and many parts of the game became trial-and-error due to the sheer amount of times you would die, and you would die. Most of the bosses towered over you and could easily dispatch you in a hit or two. No longer could you "tank out" every boss like you can in other games; your main priority was to not get hit.

Naturally, as big of a hit as it was, it created quite a large community of people that worked together to tackle the game's toughest areas, find every secret, strategize about the best builds, and slay each other in PvP over and over again. The community was an iconic part of the game, spawning memetic phrases like "git gud" and "jolly co-operation". Naturally as well, a sequel was in high demand.

Fast forward a few years and we're introduced to Dark Souls II in March of 2014. The hype behind this game was unreal, but when it released, some fans were at least a little bit let down. One major issue was that Hidetaka Miyazaki, the main director of the first two games, didn't have much involvement in the game other than overseeing its production, and they essentially got From Software's "B Team" to work on it. Why did this game disappoint some fans of the original, and why do I disagree with their feelings toward the game?

Before DSII, I'd never actually played a Souls game. I was toying with the idea of picking one of them up when I had a little extra cash, but nothing ever came to fruition. One day in May of 2014, one of my best friends came to my house and literally gave me the game for free. Of course, I was excited to play the game. I hadn't even seen much gameplay yet apart from the infamous "This Is How You DON'T Play" series that DSPGaming spawned, and even that I didn't pay much attention to. Long story short, I instantly fell in love with the game. Right from the get-go, it drew me in. Every area was dynamically different from the last, the progression was very open-ended, and the minimal story involvement after the intro gave me a chance to roleplay as my character and add my own bits to the story. I knew what I was getting into, a game known for its difficulty, and I still died a lot on my initial playthrough. It was this type of difficulty and challenge that didn't frustrate me because just beating one section was all that much more rewarding.

It was also easily the longest game I have ever played. If you don't skip any of the main areas, this game can take you a while. After about a week, I'd finally beat it, and it was a feeling that no game had given me in a long time. I'd overcome a huge challenge, and I did it by myself without guides or cheap tactics. I truly felt like I was a part of something bigger. I loved the game all the way through. The dynamic character customization and advanced graphics made me look and feel like a badass, even on console. It was such a cool feeling when you decide to help out a character and find out that they'll repay you by joining you in a boss fight later on or something like that. Each of the 30 bosses provided a unique challenge and made you want to know more about their backstory and how they came to be. All in all, a satisfying experience.

However, the game did suffer some flaws like any game would, and I think these are a few of the reasons why the fanbase thought the game fell short. Many of the bosses boiled down to "a big dude wearing armor", where Dark Souls had bosses such as Ceaseless Discharge and Bed of Chaos. Though Dark Souls II did have some equally memorable bosses such as The Rotten (a huge mash of flesh made up of many undead bodies wielding a cleaver), or The Duke's Dear Freja (a two-headed spider the size of a house that shoots lasers), I guess it just wasn't as prevalent to Dark Souls players. Another issue came from the Player-versus-Player aspect. There were a lot of cheap and easily exploitable strategies that made the combat unbalanced, and a lot of the issues still persist after several patches.

On one hand, people say that Dark Souls II was easier than its predecessor and more geared toward new or casual players. Your objective was made somewhat more apparent, and excessive use of magic made the game easier. Combat was also made more fluid and manageable, but I don't see that as a negative. There's even a ring you can wear that nullifies your loss of souls. However, death is far more punishing in this game. Each time you die, your max health will decrease and you will have to use items to get it back. Dying also no longer prevents invasions. Additionally, enemies are generally harder to kill even from the get-go. Starting enemies in Dark Souls go down in two hits from even the weaker weapons, while your early encounters in the second game will easily take three or four strikes to kill, and they know when to use their shield. They don't zerk as often as DS1 enemies, but their weapon reach is much greater and they have more of a tendency to gang up on you. Lastly, parrying, once an easy task in Dark Souls, is now near-impossible in the second game. It's almost always more viable to just block or roll out of the way because of the picture-perfect timing needed to pull this off. Speaking of rolling, you're not invincible when doing it anymore.

Weapons also have far less durability this time around. Even your stronger weapons will teach you to conserve your attacks, keep repair powder on hand, and hold onto an extra weapon for this game's many lengthy segments. Traps are more commonplace as well, and more well-hidden. Some restorative items no longer heal you or increase your defenses at all. That Giant's Armor you used to increase your poise and tank your way through the game isn't there anymore. Dark Souls II is by no means harder or easier than Dark Souls; rather it's as hard as you make it. There are ways to cheap your way out, but you know when you're doing it.

Yet another complaint was the lack of memorable characters. Dark Souls introduced us to brave knights such as Solaire or Siegmeyer, who followed us through our adventure and allowed us to watch their own story unfold alongside ours. The second game doesn't start off quite as well in that regard. Shanloette just talks too much until she actually becomes more important to the plot (much later in the game), Lenigrast acts like he's annoyed by you and takes stuff way too seriously, and Straid mocks you and calls you names even after you save him. But again, I think Dark Souls players ignored some of the characters that were just as good. Lucatiel joins you on your quest to seek out the same goal as you, all while being oblivious of the cure to her curse. She presents herself as a strong female character and her tale is very tragic if you hear her out to the end. This game also features Benny, who is my personal favorite character in the game. You meet him early on and he seems somewhat minor to start out with. After helping him out, he slowly comes to have great respect for you and will fight by your side to the end. He displays a genuine sense of honor and I enjoy the bond you form with him as the game progresses. He even accompanies you during all three final bosses.

 Honestly, I think it was an overall improvement over the first game. The story is more apparent as long as you take the time out to listen to the characters' dialog, and there is an abundance of references to the first game to bring old players back in. Not only is the combat improved, but the controls in general feel more "right". Everything from climbing ladders to exploring new areas feels faster and less tedious. Dark Souls had the issue of artificially padding out its length by making you walk absurdly long distances through huge areas that didn't even have enemies in them. Dark Souls II is easily twice as long as the first game, but you can tackle the areas in whatever order you see fit, so players of different skill levels could enjoy the game, and each playthrough could potentially be done differently.

I think that's a perfect way to segue into my final major point: Why I just don't think Dark Souls is as good. For context, the game was given out for free if you played on Xbox 360 during June. My main problem with this game versus its sequel is that not only does it feel dated when coming to it from Dark Souls II, it feels much more bland and slow-paced. The best way I can describe it is that Dark Souls is a fantastic game, but it takes a considerable amount of playing to get to "the good part". In my opinion, the game doesn't pick up for me until you start to uncover more of Lautrec's (my personal favorite character) story and what his true motives are, especially when you get to Anor Londo and face off with the Silver Knights and Ornstien and Smough. Until then, I find myself trudging through the somewhat-generic environments of Undead Burgh or Undead Parish and fighting easy enemies and bosses that have a certain flaw you an exploit to win, whereas in Dark Souls II I was immediately impressed and drawn in by locales such as the Forest of Fallen Giants and its interesting bosses and many hidden secrets.

I think my problem is that I would've liked Dark Souls a lot better if I'd played it first. The controls and interface are by no means clunky, but they sure as hell feel like it compared to the sequel. I always find myself holding B in the vein that I'll be able to climb ladders faster or swinging my mace to do a combo that isn't in the game. There's also a stat in the game called Resistance that isn't worth leveling up at all. I'm not sure why it was even there, and Dark Souls II completely did away with it.

In conclusion, I spoiled myself on a much more polished game and now I can't enjoy Dark Souls the way everyone else did. Like I said, I still see it as a great game, and I will complete it soon, but I have every reason to prefer the sequel where most did not.

This one time I liked... Jennette McCurdy.

In some ways, the internet can, for some people, be considered something of a time capsule. Every time you post a video or picture, write a comment, or even create a username, it's something you can look back on years later and reflect, laugh, and in some cases, cringe pretty hard. If there's one thing that gets a mix of all three of those out of me, it's the time from 2009-2011 when I had a crush on an actress/singer known as Jennette McCurdy.

Now, I've always been known for being very open about my celebrity crushes, but the vast majority of people that know me nowadays know me for my unending fondness towards dance pop superstar Lady Gaga. This is mainly because, well, I've had this crush on her since early 2009, but that doesn't mean nothing else happened in between then and now. For a while, I tried to remain quiet about my past with Jennette, but I think anyone that knows me deserves to hear this bizarre tale in all its "glory". So the following post will be a full and concise history of my involvement with Jennette McCurdy.

By the way, if you don't know who she is, she's mostly known for portraying the character Sam on the Nickelodeon sitcom, iCarly. She reprised this role on the less-successful spin-off series Sam & Cat, and also had a career in country music, producing one self-titled album. Considering this was almost five years ago, I'm naturally a bit hazy on how this all began. What I do remember is that it was Summer of 2009, during one fateful evening in a YouTube Stream with one of my best friends, Quinn. iCarly was in the middle of its second season, and Jennette had made her foray into country music with two singles a few months prior, with an album supposedly coming out in July.

At the time, I was still crushing pretty hard on the Gaga. I almost got to attend The Fame Ball Tour, and Paparazzi was right around the corner. Either he or one of his friends had added a video into the stream. I think it was an iCarly clip. I opened it in a new window and found one of Jennette's videos from her actual channel of her singing a cover of Adele's Right as Rain. I was instantly captivated. This was some love at first sight type shit. I don't even know what made me like her so much because it all happened so fast. There was no denying she looked great (I have a major attraction to fringe bangs, and hers rivaled even Gaga's signature 'do), and she had a great voice. Beyond that, she was very charismatic, modest, and unique among the Nick/Disney girls. I checked out the rest of her videos, and I was pretty love-drunk for the rest of the day. I remember sitting there in this hypnotic state staring intently at this picture of her while listening to the instrumental of Mariah Carey's Touch My Body on repeat.

I read up a few things on her and found out she was only 3 months older than me (which was surprising, looking at her you'd think she was younger) and I figured, while iCarly was already a pretty popular show, people knew it more than they knew her, and somehow by that logic I had a shot with her. I initially didn't tell anyone this aside from Quinn and my other good friend Amanda because I saw them as trustworthy and they wouldn't laugh at me for it. As the Summer went on, I got more and more obsessed with the actress and would talk about her with my friends nonstop. More and more people naturally learned of my plans and naturally joked with me a bit, but they all seemed to find my crush cute or endearing and ultimately supported me on my new "quest".

I had started doing freestyle raps about her and was originally going to record one but never got a camera or anything. I stayed up many a night that Summer private messaging Quinn and a few other people talking about Jennette nonstop and all the stuff we were going to do together and how I was gonna invite all my friends and have double dates and all these other wild dreams. I made a video for her 17th birthday in late June using this really simple website called Animoto in the vein that she might see it one day. As luck would have it, about 10 days later, I got a notification at around 1am that she'd left a comment on it. Needless to say I was fucking ecstatic.

From there on out, we talked quite a bit through YouTube's private message system, and she replied to my comments on most of her other videos and even left a few on my channel. It wasn't anything huge to me, but it was still a big-confidence booster to be conversing with her already after it had been less than a month since I started liking her. It made me truly believe that this could happen. I also bought her a rather expensive ring that I planned to give her. At several points during that Summer, random people on YouTube and RuneScape mistook me for Nathan Kress because we had the same first name.

Keep in mind, I had to keep this whole thing a secret from my family, which was no easy task. I was initially pretty subtle about the whole thing, but as time went on, I pretty much dedicated my whole YouTube channel to her. Sigh. The rest of '09 went pretty much the same way, and she even emailed me wishing me a happy birthday, which was pretty awesome. I met two people, Jake and Jeremy, who also had crushes on her, so we started something of a friendly competition and supported each other quite a bit. Jake wasn't as serious about it as I was, but Jeremy and I would talk about her nearly every day on Yahoo IM from November to March.

I also made two other videos for her using Animoto, and I think she noticed them, but they didn't get very popular. I originally planned to meet her in person during the holiday season of that year, but it proved difficult without telling my parents since I couldn't drive yet and the plans fell through. After the new year, I attempted to set up meeting her in February, but that never happened either. As 2010 went on, she contacted me less and less, but I tried as hard as I could not to let my spirits get down. She sent me a couple of messages on MySpace in Feburary, but that was about it for a while.

Nothing of interest happened for the rest of the first half of 2010 that I can recall, but I started to get really depressed because of all the sudden changes happening in March/April of that year. One of my best friends, Craig, was quitting Xbox Live, another friend, Jack, was acting really strange and not himself and trying to replace me with a new friend, and Jeremy randomly stopped liking Jennette. I made a few more videos for her later that year, including one as an entry to a contest for her 18th birthday, which I didn't win. Anyways, the following Summer, I temporarily moved to my mom's house to take care of my sick cat, and met a girl named Kristen on YouTube.

She was one of the contest winners and she had suggested that I join Twitter. I had heard of the site back in '09 but didn't want to join it because I honestly thought it was a dumb idea. However, she ended up convincing me to join by telling me that Jennette would often send her followers direct messages. Since she hadn't contacted me in a while at the time, I decided to give it a shot. The first few months on Twitter were honestly a lot of fun. It was a very chill and fun environment and I met a lot of cool people. It almost felt like going to a bar to wind down the day and hang out with all the regulars. It gave me a chance to socialize since I wasn't going to public school at the time.

I managed to get Jennette to tweet me a few days after I made my profile, but I still wanted to try to get her to DM (direct message) me. I think it was at this point that I truly started to descend and lose my sanity bit by bit. I had nothing else to do, so all my time on Twitter was spent tweeting Jennette left and right in hopes of getting that message. Month after month went by, and it just wasn't happening, and I was naturally starting to have second thoughts about this whole endeavor. The fact was, I felt that I was in too deep to turn back now. I couldn't talk about anything without someone bringing her into the conversation even when I was trying to avoid it. It was all I was known for. My YouTube channel at this point was plastered with images of her and paragraphs about how much I loved her.

November was the worst of it. Several of my friends were getting DMs from Jennette and publicly bragging about it while I was not. It even happened one time while my friend Allen was over and we were watching Fanboys, and I had to choke back the tears. I had a one-track mind. All I could do was think about getting that DM. I cried almost every day that month because my desperation and repeated failures made me look like some kind of stalker that I'm not, and when I asked my friends for help, they told me to stop bitching and shut the fuck up. I privately messaged my friend Peter telling him I was going to kill myself and probably would've if I didn't have the Assassin's Creed series to cheer me up at the time. The last thing I ever received from Jennette was a generic "Thank you" tweet for something I sent her.

After half a year of zero success with what seemed like a simple goal, I deleted my Twitter account in January and pretty much said fuck everyone on there. For the first few months of 2011, I tried in vein to keep my love for Jennette alive, but it was very clear that I was fighting a losing battle at this point. I was honestly done caring. I really shouldn't have felt any ill will toward Jennette herself. Being fair to her, she was much busier in 2010 than she had been in '09 because she was on tour and doing mostly free concerts, which is a shitton of work.

Regardless, what was once a cute, innocent, fun endeavor had spiraled out into a desperate, sad struggle. I had no idea what type of shit I was getting into when I made my decision back in '09. I found out that she was coming to Texas to do a free concert and decided I'd make one final all-or-nothing effort. As you might've guessed, this never happened either. I tried to get my mom to take me, but I froze up when I tried to ask her. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. My computer died in April of 2011 and I spent six months away from the internet, barring Xbox Live. During this time, I thought hard about everything.

I had gone back to public school a few months prior and met two wonderful girls, Taylor and Isabella. I started listening to the radio more since I couldn't listen to music on my PC and found out Lady Gaga was releasing Born This Way. 97.5 was playing a ton of her old songs, and all the great memories of her flooded back to me instantly. I started dreaming about her more, and after hearing the masterpiece that was The Edge of Glory, I decided I'd been crushing on the right Lady from the start. After almost two years, it was time to put my involvement with Jennette McCurdy behind me, and I was okay with that.

I returned to the internet in September of 2011, broke the news of my decision to everyone (much to their collective shock and awe) and, like a lot of guys are with their exes, I was initially somewhat bitter towards Jennette. I made a new Twitter and trolled a large amount of her fanbase (to be fair, it wasn't to be mean to her, her fanbase is just really easily trolled), and mocked her for taking four years to release her album. It was clear I was spiteful and probably salty about the whole thing. A few months later, I'd put my mean-spiritedness behind me when I met Lydia Winters. No one I know really talks about the whole thing anymore, and I think that's for the best.

As for Jennette, it's clear that she's changed drastically from the girl I fell in love with in '09. Her general appearance has altered quite a bit, as she dresses in a less unique fashion and wears considerably more makeup. She lost most of her interest in music, as she left her record label not long after releasing her only album, and while she still has a great voice and does YouTube covers, they're only of generic, boring mainstream pop songs from artists like One Direction and Miley Cyrus, and don't measure up to the old "mebesinging" videos of yesteryear. She's considerably more vulgar and "edgy" than she used to be and just has an almost completely different personality. It's not like I expected her to be this perfect, wholesome role model all her life, but I think she had her points where she tried too hard to be edgy just for the sake of doing it, like Bob Saget when he was trying to distance himself from Full House. She still acts, but hasn't done anything outside of Nickelodeon and seems like she only wants to be famous on Twitter and Vine these days. It's sad to see her so different than she was, but the recent years haven't been kind to her. Her mother passed away in 2013 and from what she's said on Twitter, Nickelodeon treated her like utter shit, which she didn't deserve. In fact, after a lot of drama with the producers as well as on set, she left the channel for good. I don't follow her very closely at all like I used to, but it seems like she's lost a lot of her old ambition. I don't know, everybody grows up, I guess.

[Edit 1/13/15] So, something I feel the need to mention since making this post. I briefly mentioned her music a few times here. While I was browsing TVTropes, I found a podcast she did with Nerdist. According to what she said on it, she apparently not only has no plans to release any more music, but hated her music career and resents it. I'm honestly not sure what to think of this. On one hand, I think she hated the touring and how her management handled things more so than the actual process of writing and singing music. Apparently, her label forced her to mention it in almost every interview and generally told her what to say in them as well as during concerts. It's pretty stupid how they outright told her to explicitly state that she "grew up listening to country music" when she didn't. On the other hand, hearing this revelation disappoints me even more. It's mesmerizing to look at her old videos circa 2009 where she seemed so genuinely happy to promote her debut album, and how much energy and uniqueness the songs themselves had. I refuse to believe that all of that was just stuff her label was telling her to do/say. Again, I feel like she (at least at one point) blurred the line between trying to move on from her "teen star" phase and being outright fake, but whatever.

All in all, my failed quest for a relationship with Jennette McCurdy is both an old shame of mine and a learning experience that has, at the very least, made me stronger. I still think she's a wonderful actress and singer, and hope she acts in mainstream movies one day and maybe even releases another country album. Until then, I'll always remember this strange experience and direct anyone who asks to this very post. ~

"Sweetie-pie, does this dress make my ass look fat?

Hmm?"

Part 4 - The Meeting

As it stood, there were exactly two different ways I could handle the current situation. The first being to remain calm and introduce myself to the Lady I'd been crushing on for about four years, and the alternative was to freak out, go complete fanboy on her, make an awful first impression, and possibly pass out from excitement. I hadn't ever really played out either one in my head, but I knew good and well that this would be my one and only chance to effectively kill two birds with one stone by getting some answers about this supposed conspiracy and spend some time with my favorite singer, uninterrupted and with the ability to discuss just about anything. Therefore, I decided to compose myself and take the first option.


"Umm, w-what's good? You look stunning tonight, you know.", my deep voice resonated with a slight air of uncertainty.

The flashy performer smiled back at me, laughed, and calmly responded, "Hello there. That's incredibly sweet of you. How... did I know you'd be the one back here, of all people. You were so energetic on the floor earlier."

 I put my hand on the back of my head and took my hats off, shaking my head a bit to allow my hair to return to its natural shape. "Well, the way I see it, a show of your caliber deserves no less! You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but it's not easy to get that kind of emotional reaction out of me." I stopped, thinking I was forgetting something. "Oh- I'm Nathan."

She smiled again, and said, "Stefani. Charmed to meet you...but you probably knew that already."

I approached her expecting a handshake or something, but instead I was met with a full-on embrace. Naturally, I hugged her back, and I'm not going to lie, I wish it lasted forever. I pulled up a chair next to her.

"You know, you've probably heard this more times than you can count, but I've actually been a fan of yours for quite some time. Since the start of '09, if I recall. I've had this huge crush on you ever since." We both laughed. "You're the only person out there as strange as I am."

She blushed very slightly, just enough for it to be noticeable. "I...honestly don't get that last part a lot. Haha. That's very cute, though, and so are you." My heart must've skipped a beat.

"Ooh, smooth."

"I try."

We began discussing different subjects for the next hour or so. I told her that I was an aspiring writer and director and even though I didn't make music myself, I had a love for the industry. We talked about various art-related things and discussed her different songs and the inspirations behind them. She explained to me how she did 'Brown Eyes' in a single take after a night of drinking and crying, and how 'LoveGame' came from an idea she had as a joke to pick up guys at a bar.

The back-and-forth continued this way, and a little over an hour into it, I decided to bring up 'Paparazzi'. She explained how she wrote the song well before she was ever famous and how she made this story up in her head about an obsessed stalker following a celebrity around. She wanted a 'true' pop song with rock elements still mixed in here and there. I half-jokingly told her that I thought the song was 'sexy' and that I didn't think music was capable of 'turning you on' before I heard it.

I causally decided to bring up the conspiracy, and her face turned from cheerful to what I can only describe as a look of concern and neutrality, like she'd just seen something scary. Some of the color visibly left her visage. Seeing her this disheartened had a similar effect on me. I thought I was about to be told to leave; that I'd fucked everything up by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but she continued as normal, telling me that a lot went into the recording of the song, but nothing otherworldly or negative.

 She then cleverly changed the subject by pointing out that it was past 2:00 AM and asking if I'd like to get something to eat with her.

"A date?!", I thought to myself. I must've been tripping. Not one to pass up such an offer, I accepted. After all, this would be the only viable way to continue my 'investigation'. She told me she knew a place that stayed open past midnight and we exited the now-completely empty venue. Not even her managers and staff had stayed behind this long.

I lead her to my green Jeep, the only car left in the lot, and had her take the wheel at her request. I'd sobered up by this point, but that didn't change the fact that I was exhausted. My body ached from all the cheering and dancing. Normally, I don't trust anyone with my ride, but this woman had a sense of articulation unlike anyone I'd seen. She turned the radio to the rap station, and I fell asleep partially leaning against her within about 15 minutes. 

I proceeded to slip into another very strange dream...

Weed-ventures #2 + New Years' stuff

Again, sorry for the long gap in between posts. Just figure I'd do an all-in-one post featuring the second installment to "Weed-ventures" and a general update on what's been going on.

I suppose I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first. In early December, something happened to me that really shook me up:

I got caught. After a year and a half of successfully hiding it, my parents caught me smoking. Well, it wasn't so much that I got caught, so much that it was I got snitched on.

As the story goes, G-man had been absolutely itching to smoke. Couldn't even talk about anything else. I had an extra $20 on me that he persuaded me to give to him towards about 10 grams of reggie. We knew a guy that sold it for 2 dollars a gram, which is even cheaper than reggie normally is, which seemed pretty cool. We picked the stuff up at the Flying J, but we couldn't smoke yet since G-man had work, so we agreed to wait until later that night.

I went to the store with my mom to pick a few things up, and it was pretty late by the time we got back. Bex was gonna smoke with us, and she'd already shown up by that point. I put away all the groceries, then waited til my mom left and went outside with Bex to G-man's truck. We hotboxed for a while and then went straight back inside. That was our first mistake. We didn't air ourselves out or spray anything.

Anyways we honestly weren't all that high, we just sat down in my room and talked as I started to play "Chris Dolmeth" by Hopsin. Not even half an hour later, I hear my mom pounding on my door. Now let me stop the story right here to tell you something. I have a rule. Don't try to get my attention when my door is locked. I don't care if I'm shooting up black tar heroin while performing illegal experiments on a human body. Do. Not. Fucking. Bother. Me. When. My. Door. Is. Locked. That clear? Anyways I opened it, and my mom simply asks who has marijuana. I wasn't acting high at all, so I simply said we didn't, but that answer wasn't good enough for her. The bitch has a superhuman sense of smell, and it's gotten close to ruining my life many times before this one. Bex covers up for me by saying that she had some before she came over, but again, that isn't good enough. G-man starts acting sketchy but ultimately also says we didn't have any.

I don't remember much of the next half-hour. I have a very prominent love-hate relationship with my mother, mainly because she does a lot of Xanax and other pills, and therefore has mood swings, but in any case, all the hate spewed out that night. I raged so hard that I blacked out. I was told that I threatened to kill my mother, but I have no memory of saying anything like that. Finally, G-man and Bex left because they both had work early the next day, and I was pretty pissed that my session got ruined, and that I'd lost my appetite. I'm currently trying to gain weight, so I cannot afford to skip any meals.

I try to regain my composure, and G-man decides to come back and see if we're okay. I try to talk it out, but he insists I leave the room so they can talk alone. He says I can still listen in on what they say through the door. I initially object to this because I know he's going to talk bad about me, but he fiercely denies he will do such a thing, and forces me to leave. I have less say in my own house than my cats. I'm 21 fucking years old and I get treated like I'm 12.

He starts off being true to his word, but then tells my mom that we in fact, did smoke that night, then proceeds to spill out every secret I foolishly trusted him with over the past few years. I can't describe what I was going through as I heard this. I tried opening the door lock with my knife, and even threatened to bash down the door with a sword. They completely ignored me as I screamed in utter terror and agony. My whole body was shaking. They finally let me in and I did my best to explain myself, but it was no use.

My mother is one of the most extremist Christians I know, and her morals are years behind. Needless to say, she has a zero-tolerance policy for weed. She didn't actually do anything to me other than have me give the weed to G-man, but I was crushed because her opinion of me was forever changed. I happen to deeply care about what others think of me, especially family members. I should also later note that my mother had to worsen things by telling the rest of my family what happened, effectively ruining my relationship with them.

I got every pill I could find in the house and contemplated ending my disheveled existence for a solid hour before finally deciding against it and going to sleep. I wasn't much better the next day. My body was shaking, I was horribly nauseous, and I couldn't eat anything. My mother and who I thought was one of my best friends had destroyed me over something that wasn't my fault. I sought help on the Grasscity forums, which had a nice community that welcomed me and gave me a good bit of helpful advice, and from there, began the slow process of healing.

What was the lesson to be learned here? Don't smoke weed? More like don't trust anybody. Remember how in my last post I said that G-man is someone I can always count on? Well, you can forget I ever said that. In regards to all the events that transpired that night, fuck him. He's an unstable, volatile person who swallowed one too many aspirin and bottles of cough syrup. This doesn't mean I won't associate with him anymore, but I'm sure as hell not trusting him.

As for how to move forward after this? Well, I'm going to move out as soon as anyone will hire me, which could be a while considering this is Waco. If I'm by myself, I'll be able to smoke as much as I damn well please. For good measure, I'll get myself a safe because it drives me up the wall when people go through my things. Will I put weed and paraphernalia in there? That's no one's business but my own, and with a locked safe, it'll stay that way.

I'm in no way ashamed to admit that I smoke marijuana. It's my life, I'll do what I want with it. No one dictates what I can and can't do but me. Aside from that night, weed has had only positive effects on me and has helped me out a lot in the long run. As for it's legal status, the world is finally realizing that marijuana is completely harmless to your body, and will be made legal nationwide very soon, so I have little to worry about. It's time to make some progress for once.



Moving on from that craziness, New Years was pretty fun. I hung out with some friends, blazed up a few bowls, found a shiny Ninetales, and had the best munch session ever at iHop. Overall 2013 was an interesting year. There were plenty of great games, awesome music, memorable movies, and most importantly great friendships formed.. I honestly can't think of much to say about it without trailing off. I thought this part of the post would go on a bit longer, but I honestly can't think of anything to add. So far, this year is starting out all right. I still don't have another job, but I have a lot of fun times ahead of me. All the pain and turmoil has made me stronger than ever.

Lastly, as of posting this, it has been exactly one year since the fateful day I saw the lovely and talented Lady Gaga live at the Born This Way Ball at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. It doesn't feel like it's been that long, but I guess that's what happens when someone leaves that much of a lasting impression on you. I'll never forget that night, and I'll be seeing her again this July at the ARTPOP Ball! I have general admission this time around, so I'll be able to look her directly in the eye. <3 *sigh*

Anyways, my next post will be the long-overdue fourth part of my creepypasta. I'll probably post another weed-ventures after that. See you soon! ~

Weed-ventures from last night....

So I randomly got the idea that I'll make a post on here every time I have an interesting weed-related story. I figure this would give me a chance to have some fun and just sorta throw my thoughts all over the place.

Warning: Some posts may or not be made while at an elevated state

So, me and the G-man have been smokin' all week more or less. Earlier I'd had a few seshes with Bex and her pipe and she gave me a lil of hers but I let her have most of it. It was her stache and I wasn't about to look like a mooch. Her and that chick with the godawful breath and the exact personality of Fluttershy totally made out on my bed, though. He he he. Her weed didn't taste very good, but it got me pretty faded, and in the end that's what matters.

Anyways back on subject, G-man touched base with me and we decided to try to get our hands on some of the green stuff. We ended up going all over town pawning various things we didn't need. A damn buck-fifty for three DVDs and a video game in perfect condition, you believe that horseshit? Last time I get short-changed by some third rate game store... So we ended up just selling G's old iPhone 4S. Damn thing wasn't about to get turned back on anytime soon, and it was slow as shit even when it was. Good riddance. 55 bucks, now that's more like it!.

Cash in tow, we headed to our buddy Deston's place. If there are two things I'm certain of, it's that that dude is always home and always has some weed on him. Dude's loaded and he knows it. He usually just keeps Reggie, but this time he had a bunch of corn instead! We ended up cleanin' the guy out, 40 bucks for three eighths of some great mid. They tried to say it was more, but G-man knew better. Haha. We were gonna spend the remaining 20 bucks on some 'dro from Ray, but we didn't have his number and my phone's been off since May. AT&T can KMA. It was really compressed and would've been a bitch and a half to break down were it not for that grinder Bex had given me. Score! We shared a pretty big blunt at his place, then parted ways for the night. He gave me a gram for myself, which was pretty chill.

I went to bed like right after I got home (I think) but I remember listening to music like I usually do while blazed. It's just not a complete experience without it. Cashmere Cat's "Mirror Maru" has been a favorite of mine recently, but you can ever go wrong with the Jody Den Broeder remix of Poker Face. It's like 7 minutes long but I swear it'll feel like 30 when you're faded. It's also really echo-ey which helps. Oh man, speaking of which I found this gem of a pic from the Fame Ball while I was high:

Isn't she just pure perfection? I mean, to each his own, but I'm completely serious when I say I'd marry her in a heartbeat, like for real. It's as if someone created my ideal woman, or something.

















So anyways G blew through his stuff in less than a week, while I had a few average solo sessions during the night. Then he rolls up one morning wanting to smoke. I didn't have much to bring out other than a half-burned bowl and what little keef we could scrape out of the grinder. If only I hadn't dropped the other half-burnt stuff outside (fucking gloves!). Did I ever mention I'm painfully low-income? I can't help but feel bad for spending money on herb but I don't spend that much so it's whatever. So we smoke that but I end up getting most of the keef hits and get a lot higher than G. We tried hitting up Deston but he was at work, so we just headed to G's house and I fucked around on the computer for a few hours.

A whole minute later, we tried Deston's again since it was nighttime and he'd probably be home by then. Still wasn't, but my bro Clay from high school was. This guy's one of the most amicable dudes you'll meet. No hate in this nigga's heart. He let us have a joint and almost two bowls, so we got pretty faded this time. The guy puts in "Heat" and doesn't even turn the sound on. Lmao. So Clay and I catch up on old times and discuss weird kids from our high school. We didn't talk all that much back then, so it's great that we do now. G-man was just laying down on the bed stoned outta his mind. Dude pulls out a cigarette and just holds it in his hand for like an hour, doesn't even light it. Funny thing his, he acknowledged the fact several times. I laugh, but I'm no better. I was sitting there trying to devise a plan to pull a heist at one of the pawn shops. I must've been high to think we coulda split 20k each and boosted everything.

Around 10 we headed home and messed around on the computer some more. We kept toying with the idea of going to Whataburger, but we woulda had to wait til G's fam went to bed, which didn't happen for a while and we both just passed the fuck out. I fell asleep in my hat, which I never do. In summary, it was a great night. G-man's a dude I can always count on. Stay tuned for the next installment!

ARTPOP (2013)

Well, here we are. All of my reviewing culminates here. If you came for the end, you won't be disappointed (hopefully). At the time of typing this, this is Lady Gaga's brand new and therefore most recent album, and as such, this will be the final review on this site for the time being.

In Spring of 2012, coincidentally around when I decided to fully renew my interest in Lady Gaga for the first time since 2009, she announced that she would indeed be releasing a fourth album. Not one to make the same mistake twice, she kept quiet about this record for quite some time instead of hyping it up, only revealing its title, "ARTPOP" (stylized in ALL CAPS WHOO) in early 2013. Save for a few vague hints dropped through Twitter and Facebook posts, nothing else was said about the album until it was said to be slated for a Spring 2013 release. Not soon after, it was pushed back to an indefinite date.

During Summer of that year, Gaga finally announced the first single, "Applause", to be released at the end of the Summer(it actually released early rather than getting delayed). In September, the official release date, 11/11/13, was revealed. She also performed seven of the album's songs for the first time at the iTunes Festival in London, which also featured other popular acts such as Katy Perry. Finally, a few weeks before the release date, the cover art and entire tracklist were both revealed. The night before the album's release, Lady Gaga hosted a special concert, the "artRAVE", where she performed the album in its entirety. So, after a lengthy absence from the spotlight, how did the album that me and many others long anticipated fare? Let's take a look.

Opening up with the powerful lead single (and fittingly, the final song on the album), "Applause", we're treated to an energetic, techno-infused beat with some very complimentary vocals. Here, she sings about the importance of her fanbase and how she, unlike many mainstream artists, genuinely cares about and is active with her Monsters. This theme will be revisited later, but that's not a bad thing in this case. "Aura", a song that was leaked during the Summer, is a bit slower-paced and has a hard-to-describe, "epic" feel to it. It's subject matter revolves around the real Lady Gaga behind all the crazy outfits and showiness; the girl behind the aura.

The album isn't without its love songs, such as the second single, "Do What U Want", featuring R. Kelly, who I enjoyed from his hilarious series, 'Trapped in the Closet', and it was nice to see him back. His guest verse added very positively to this song. Another promotional single, "Venus", can really get you pumped with its excellent sampling and lyrical balance between physical and emotional attraction. We then head straight to the bedroom with the assertive, driving beat of "G.U.Y. (Girl Under You)", and the erotic, sultry tune of "Sexxx Dreams", two songs about the act of sex itself and what it can entail. Gaga continues to showcase her undeniable sex appeal in "Jewels 'N' Drugs", a heavily hip-hop influenced jam featuring three memorable verses from influential southern rapper T.I., classic 90s gangsta rap artist Too $hort, and the criminally underrated speed demon, Twista.

The Lady sure knows how to tug at your emotions, an example being the tear-jerking but undeniably catchy "Gypsy", and yet another spectacular return to her roots with the bittersweet ballad, "Dope", a song she dedicated to her fans after having to cancel her most recent tour due to a hip injury. Also returning are her power pop-rock vibes, in "MANiCURE" (I love the pun, by the way), stomping its way in as one hell of an earworm. I can't help but think of a cheer squad at a football game when I hear this one. Fittingly, preceding "Dope" is "Mary Jane Holland", a song about, you guessed it, weed and self-indulgence, which also has a bittersweet feel to it.

A focal point to the aforementioned iTunes Festival was "Swine", a vocally shredding song that had her backup dancers wearing pig-themed gasmasks a la Mother 3. The festival was even named "Swinefest". Next on the list, what would a Gaga album be if it didn't touch on her love for all her signature shocking-yet-stylish clothing? She delivers well in this regard, with what is perhaps the most dance-oriented song on the CD, "Donatella", a tribute to well-known designer and long-time friend of Gaga, Donatella Versace. Keeping with this theme is "Fashion!", easily one of the best songs on the album. Her vocal prowess shines through masterfully here to the point of giving me chills!

Last and certainly not least is the title track. As it might suggest, the song is about the harmony of art and pop music. Lady Gaga restates the theme of putting raw passion into her work and focusing on the art itself and her fans rather than money and commercialism ("music, not the bling", as she says). Much like "Monster" before it, I consider this arguably the highest point of the album. Her title tracks are always unforgettable, and this is no exception.

I feel a lot different writing the closing thoughts for this review, as well as the review itself because, unlike her other albums, this one is still fresh in my mind and I haven't had several years to reflect on it the way I have her other work, so my opinions may change over time. Either way, I'll share my thoughts after I touch on something a bit.

ARTPOP has been receiving generally mixed reviews since its release, almost all of which I completely disagree with. I won't elaborate on this too much, but these "professional" reviewers get a lot of their facts wrong, make many statements in bad taste, and generally shouldn't be taken too seriously. This album's first-week sales were also small in comparison to her past work, being outsold, albeit very marginally by Miley Cyrus(who I don't really see the appeal in) and Katy Perry(who I enjoy, but not as much), due in part to their inconveniently close release dates.

The low sales can be largely attributed to the fact that many people do not buy music in this day and age, usually just torrenting it for free. Sadly, another contributing factor is that the kid and teen audience would rather have repetitive commercialized club music with little meaning to it than something deeper such as ARTPOP, which appealed to a more mature, adult audience.

As for me, I hope none of you found this review to be too positive. All of what you're reading is my unbiased opinion. I didn't say any of this just because I'm a fan, and honestly, I see ARTPOP as a very interesting experiment, and her best album since The Fame. I won't put it above that spot, but I'll definitely place it right beside it as an equal. My reasoning is that it had so many songs that were instant favorites, namely Dope, MANiCURE, ARTPOP, Gypsy, and Fashion!. Not many albums have five songs I can genuinely adore that much. Despite what reviewers say, this is definitely worth giving a listen to, and might even change your opinion on mainstream pop music. ARTPOP was well worth the wait and, for me, delivered what it promised.

Favorite track: ARTPOP
Least favorite track: Swine
Overall rating: 9.5/10

One-off songs (various)

I think I'm skipping straight to dessert ifyouknowwhatimeanbro

Just to preface things, this review will be pretty short, but I wanted something to bridge the rather sizable gap between Born This Way and the recently-released ARTPOP. Sorry it took me so long, so let's get on with it!

While Lady Gaga has countless unreleased songs that can be found all over the internet these days, there are the odd few that saw an official release without actually being part of an album or collection. These will be the subject of this review.

Earlier in her career, during the Fame days, she released a few songs digitally to promote the then-new album. "Vanity", one of her older songs with an interesting feel to it, came out around that time, as did "Fashion" (not to be confused with her brand-new song of the same title with an exclamation mark added), a simple-yet-catchy tune recorded for the popular TV shows, Sex and the City and Ugly Betty. Gaga originally wrote it for Heidi Montag, and they actually ended up both singing their own versions.

Also noteworthy was "Future Love", a charming, lighthearted piano love ballad that Gaga sang during her Fame Ball tour. It contains humorous lyrics alluding to space and related sciences, and even a Star Wars reference, of all things. There does not exist a studio version of this song, as Gaga says she believes that the fans make this song what it is.

During the 2008 Holiday season, she also released the double entendre-laden "Christmas Tree", featuring the DJ Space Cowboy, who worked with her a lot on The Fame. It contains a lot of sexual puns based on Christmas-related things. This was one of the first songs Gaga made as a "joke", and many people took it far too seriously. It was even made free on Amazon as a part of some Christmas music promo, and needless to say, it didn't blend in well with the traditional Holiday tunes.

Quite a few of these songs were released in 2012, probably to tide the fans over during the "down-time" between albums. This gave her more of an opportunity to "play around", so to speak. A lot of the songs released at this time were made with humor in mind and not meant to be taken seriously. 2012 saw songs about odd or inane things such as "Tea" (exactly what it says on the cup), or "Stache (Princess High)" (weed, if the title flew over your head).

Perhaps the most interesting of the bunch was "Cake Like Lady Gaga", the cover of which I used as the picture for this post. The entire song was one elaborate joke, starting as a supposed 'contest' held by DJ White Shadow, who made a hip-hop instrumental and posted it to twitter, saying that whoever made the best rap over the beat would have the song produced and published. Not soon after, the 'winner' was announced, though it was just Gaga herself, originally with her voice lowered to sound like a man(though the final product has her normal voice). The entire thing is, as you might have guessed, a rap song, which surprised fans who hadn't heard songs such as "Paper Gangsta" before. It is a very clear style parody of modern mainstream rap, featuring boasts of riches and success, and multiple uses of the word "swag". You may think otherwise on your first listen, but when she informs her critics that they "can suck her dick" in the final verse, it's plain to see that she's thrown all sincerity out the window in favor of humor and hyperbolic exaggeration. Despite it not being a "serious" song, she flows rather well and adds a sense of her signature sex appeal to the mix, proving that she can occasionally transcend genres. 

Not much to say on the closing thoughts here. These are all enjoyable songs for what they are. I already know I missed a few in this category; I simply picked the ones that stuck out to me the most. I do hope that Lady Gaga continues to produce these types of songs, if only for their playful, non-serious nature. I can't really say anything negative here because these songs aren't all over the place and therefore aren't "forced" on those who might dislike them. Check them out on YouTube or other media sites if you get the time.

Favorite track: Future Love, or Cake

Least favorite track: Tea
Overall rating: Unclassifiable