Part 4 - The Meeting

As it stood, there were exactly two different ways I could handle the current situation. The first being to remain calm and introduce myself to the Lady I'd been crushing on for about four years, and the alternative was to freak out, go complete fanboy on her, make an awful first impression, and possibly pass out from excitement. I hadn't ever really played out either one in my head, but I knew good and well that this would be my one and only chance to effectively kill two birds with one stone by getting some answers about this supposed conspiracy and spend some time with my favorite singer, uninterrupted and with the ability to discuss just about anything. Therefore, I decided to compose myself and take the first option.


"Umm, w-what's good? You look stunning tonight, you know.", my deep voice resonated with a slight air of uncertainty.

The flashy performer smiled back at me, laughed, and calmly responded, "Hello there. That's incredibly sweet of you. How... did I know you'd be the one back here, of all people. You were so energetic on the floor earlier."

 I put my hand on the back of my head and took my hats off, shaking my head a bit to allow my hair to return to its natural shape. "Well, the way I see it, a show of your caliber deserves no less! You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but it's not easy to get that kind of emotional reaction out of me." I stopped, thinking I was forgetting something. "Oh- I'm Nathan."

She smiled again, and said, "Stefani. Charmed to meet you...but you probably knew that already."

I approached her expecting a handshake or something, but instead I was met with a full-on embrace. Naturally, I hugged her back, and I'm not going to lie, I wish it lasted forever. I pulled up a chair next to her.

"You know, you've probably heard this more times than you can count, but I've actually been a fan of yours for quite some time. Since the start of '09, if I recall. I've had this huge crush on you ever since." We both laughed. "You're the only person out there as strange as I am."

She blushed very slightly, just enough for it to be noticeable. "I...honestly don't get that last part a lot. Haha. That's very cute, though, and so are you." My heart must've skipped a beat.

"Ooh, smooth."

"I try."

We began discussing different subjects for the next hour or so. I told her that I was an aspiring writer and director and even though I didn't make music myself, I had a love for the industry. We talked about various art-related things and discussed her different songs and the inspirations behind them. She explained to me how she did 'Brown Eyes' in a single take after a night of drinking and crying, and how 'LoveGame' came from an idea she had as a joke to pick up guys at a bar.

The back-and-forth continued this way, and a little over an hour into it, I decided to bring up 'Paparazzi'. She explained how she wrote the song well before she was ever famous and how she made this story up in her head about an obsessed stalker following a celebrity around. She wanted a 'true' pop song with rock elements still mixed in here and there. I half-jokingly told her that I thought the song was 'sexy' and that I didn't think music was capable of 'turning you on' before I heard it.

I causally decided to bring up the conspiracy, and her face turned from cheerful to what I can only describe as a look of concern and neutrality, like she'd just seen something scary. Some of the color visibly left her visage. Seeing her this disheartened had a similar effect on me. I thought I was about to be told to leave; that I'd fucked everything up by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but she continued as normal, telling me that a lot went into the recording of the song, but nothing otherworldly or negative.

 She then cleverly changed the subject by pointing out that it was past 2:00 AM and asking if I'd like to get something to eat with her.

"A date?!", I thought to myself. I must've been tripping. Not one to pass up such an offer, I accepted. After all, this would be the only viable way to continue my 'investigation'. She told me she knew a place that stayed open past midnight and we exited the now-completely empty venue. Not even her managers and staff had stayed behind this long.

I lead her to my green Jeep, the only car left in the lot, and had her take the wheel at her request. I'd sobered up by this point, but that didn't change the fact that I was exhausted. My body ached from all the cheering and dancing. Normally, I don't trust anyone with my ride, but this woman had a sense of articulation unlike anyone I'd seen. She turned the radio to the rap station, and I fell asleep partially leaning against her within about 15 minutes. 

I proceeded to slip into another very strange dream...

Weed-ventures #2 + New Years' stuff

Again, sorry for the long gap in between posts. Just figure I'd do an all-in-one post featuring the second installment to "Weed-ventures" and a general update on what's been going on.

I suppose I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first. In early December, something happened to me that really shook me up:

I got caught. After a year and a half of successfully hiding it, my parents caught me smoking. Well, it wasn't so much that I got caught, so much that it was I got snitched on.

As the story goes, G-man had been absolutely itching to smoke. Couldn't even talk about anything else. I had an extra $20 on me that he persuaded me to give to him towards about 10 grams of reggie. We knew a guy that sold it for 2 dollars a gram, which is even cheaper than reggie normally is, which seemed pretty cool. We picked the stuff up at the Flying J, but we couldn't smoke yet since G-man had work, so we agreed to wait until later that night.

I went to the store with my mom to pick a few things up, and it was pretty late by the time we got back. Bex was gonna smoke with us, and she'd already shown up by that point. I put away all the groceries, then waited til my mom left and went outside with Bex to G-man's truck. We hotboxed for a while and then went straight back inside. That was our first mistake. We didn't air ourselves out or spray anything.

Anyways we honestly weren't all that high, we just sat down in my room and talked as I started to play "Chris Dolmeth" by Hopsin. Not even half an hour later, I hear my mom pounding on my door. Now let me stop the story right here to tell you something. I have a rule. Don't try to get my attention when my door is locked. I don't care if I'm shooting up black tar heroin while performing illegal experiments on a human body. Do. Not. Fucking. Bother. Me. When. My. Door. Is. Locked. That clear? Anyways I opened it, and my mom simply asks who has marijuana. I wasn't acting high at all, so I simply said we didn't, but that answer wasn't good enough for her. The bitch has a superhuman sense of smell, and it's gotten close to ruining my life many times before this one. Bex covers up for me by saying that she had some before she came over, but again, that isn't good enough. G-man starts acting sketchy but ultimately also says we didn't have any.

I don't remember much of the next half-hour. I have a very prominent love-hate relationship with my mother, mainly because she does a lot of Xanax and other pills, and therefore has mood swings, but in any case, all the hate spewed out that night. I raged so hard that I blacked out. I was told that I threatened to kill my mother, but I have no memory of saying anything like that. Finally, G-man and Bex left because they both had work early the next day, and I was pretty pissed that my session got ruined, and that I'd lost my appetite. I'm currently trying to gain weight, so I cannot afford to skip any meals.

I try to regain my composure, and G-man decides to come back and see if we're okay. I try to talk it out, but he insists I leave the room so they can talk alone. He says I can still listen in on what they say through the door. I initially object to this because I know he's going to talk bad about me, but he fiercely denies he will do such a thing, and forces me to leave. I have less say in my own house than my cats. I'm 21 fucking years old and I get treated like I'm 12.

He starts off being true to his word, but then tells my mom that we in fact, did smoke that night, then proceeds to spill out every secret I foolishly trusted him with over the past few years. I can't describe what I was going through as I heard this. I tried opening the door lock with my knife, and even threatened to bash down the door with a sword. They completely ignored me as I screamed in utter terror and agony. My whole body was shaking. They finally let me in and I did my best to explain myself, but it was no use.

My mother is one of the most extremist Christians I know, and her morals are years behind. Needless to say, she has a zero-tolerance policy for weed. She didn't actually do anything to me other than have me give the weed to G-man, but I was crushed because her opinion of me was forever changed. I happen to deeply care about what others think of me, especially family members. I should also later note that my mother had to worsen things by telling the rest of my family what happened, effectively ruining my relationship with them.

I got every pill I could find in the house and contemplated ending my disheveled existence for a solid hour before finally deciding against it and going to sleep. I wasn't much better the next day. My body was shaking, I was horribly nauseous, and I couldn't eat anything. My mother and who I thought was one of my best friends had destroyed me over something that wasn't my fault. I sought help on the Grasscity forums, which had a nice community that welcomed me and gave me a good bit of helpful advice, and from there, began the slow process of healing.

What was the lesson to be learned here? Don't smoke weed? More like don't trust anybody. Remember how in my last post I said that G-man is someone I can always count on? Well, you can forget I ever said that. In regards to all the events that transpired that night, fuck him. He's an unstable, volatile person who swallowed one too many aspirin and bottles of cough syrup. This doesn't mean I won't associate with him anymore, but I'm sure as hell not trusting him.

As for how to move forward after this? Well, I'm going to move out as soon as anyone will hire me, which could be a while considering this is Waco. If I'm by myself, I'll be able to smoke as much as I damn well please. For good measure, I'll get myself a safe because it drives me up the wall when people go through my things. Will I put weed and paraphernalia in there? That's no one's business but my own, and with a locked safe, it'll stay that way.

I'm in no way ashamed to admit that I smoke marijuana. It's my life, I'll do what I want with it. No one dictates what I can and can't do but me. Aside from that night, weed has had only positive effects on me and has helped me out a lot in the long run. As for it's legal status, the world is finally realizing that marijuana is completely harmless to your body, and will be made legal nationwide very soon, so I have little to worry about. It's time to make some progress for once.



Moving on from that craziness, New Years was pretty fun. I hung out with some friends, blazed up a few bowls, found a shiny Ninetales, and had the best munch session ever at iHop. Overall 2013 was an interesting year. There were plenty of great games, awesome music, memorable movies, and most importantly great friendships formed.. I honestly can't think of much to say about it without trailing off. I thought this part of the post would go on a bit longer, but I honestly can't think of anything to add. So far, this year is starting out all right. I still don't have another job, but I have a lot of fun times ahead of me. All the pain and turmoil has made me stronger than ever.

Lastly, as of posting this, it has been exactly one year since the fateful day I saw the lovely and talented Lady Gaga live at the Born This Way Ball at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. It doesn't feel like it's been that long, but I guess that's what happens when someone leaves that much of a lasting impression on you. I'll never forget that night, and I'll be seeing her again this July at the ARTPOP Ball! I have general admission this time around, so I'll be able to look her directly in the eye. <3 *sigh*

Anyways, my next post will be the long-overdue fourth part of my creepypasta. I'll probably post another weed-ventures after that. See you soon! ~

Weed-ventures from last night....

So I randomly got the idea that I'll make a post on here every time I have an interesting weed-related story. I figure this would give me a chance to have some fun and just sorta throw my thoughts all over the place.

Warning: Some posts may or not be made while at an elevated state

So, me and the G-man have been smokin' all week more or less. Earlier I'd had a few seshes with Bex and her pipe and she gave me a lil of hers but I let her have most of it. It was her stache and I wasn't about to look like a mooch. Her and that chick with the godawful breath and the exact personality of Fluttershy totally made out on my bed, though. He he he. Her weed didn't taste very good, but it got me pretty faded, and in the end that's what matters.

Anyways back on subject, G-man touched base with me and we decided to try to get our hands on some of the green stuff. We ended up going all over town pawning various things we didn't need. A damn buck-fifty for three DVDs and a video game in perfect condition, you believe that horseshit? Last time I get short-changed by some third rate game store... So we ended up just selling G's old iPhone 4S. Damn thing wasn't about to get turned back on anytime soon, and it was slow as shit even when it was. Good riddance. 55 bucks, now that's more like it!.

Cash in tow, we headed to our buddy Deston's place. If there are two things I'm certain of, it's that that dude is always home and always has some weed on him. Dude's loaded and he knows it. He usually just keeps Reggie, but this time he had a bunch of corn instead! We ended up cleanin' the guy out, 40 bucks for three eighths of some great mid. They tried to say it was more, but G-man knew better. Haha. We were gonna spend the remaining 20 bucks on some 'dro from Ray, but we didn't have his number and my phone's been off since May. AT&T can KMA. It was really compressed and would've been a bitch and a half to break down were it not for that grinder Bex had given me. Score! We shared a pretty big blunt at his place, then parted ways for the night. He gave me a gram for myself, which was pretty chill.

I went to bed like right after I got home (I think) but I remember listening to music like I usually do while blazed. It's just not a complete experience without it. Cashmere Cat's "Mirror Maru" has been a favorite of mine recently, but you can ever go wrong with the Jody Den Broeder remix of Poker Face. It's like 7 minutes long but I swear it'll feel like 30 when you're faded. It's also really echo-ey which helps. Oh man, speaking of which I found this gem of a pic from the Fame Ball while I was high:

Isn't she just pure perfection? I mean, to each his own, but I'm completely serious when I say I'd marry her in a heartbeat, like for real. It's as if someone created my ideal woman, or something.

















So anyways G blew through his stuff in less than a week, while I had a few average solo sessions during the night. Then he rolls up one morning wanting to smoke. I didn't have much to bring out other than a half-burned bowl and what little keef we could scrape out of the grinder. If only I hadn't dropped the other half-burnt stuff outside (fucking gloves!). Did I ever mention I'm painfully low-income? I can't help but feel bad for spending money on herb but I don't spend that much so it's whatever. So we smoke that but I end up getting most of the keef hits and get a lot higher than G. We tried hitting up Deston but he was at work, so we just headed to G's house and I fucked around on the computer for a few hours.

A whole minute later, we tried Deston's again since it was nighttime and he'd probably be home by then. Still wasn't, but my bro Clay from high school was. This guy's one of the most amicable dudes you'll meet. No hate in this nigga's heart. He let us have a joint and almost two bowls, so we got pretty faded this time. The guy puts in "Heat" and doesn't even turn the sound on. Lmao. So Clay and I catch up on old times and discuss weird kids from our high school. We didn't talk all that much back then, so it's great that we do now. G-man was just laying down on the bed stoned outta his mind. Dude pulls out a cigarette and just holds it in his hand for like an hour, doesn't even light it. Funny thing his, he acknowledged the fact several times. I laugh, but I'm no better. I was sitting there trying to devise a plan to pull a heist at one of the pawn shops. I must've been high to think we coulda split 20k each and boosted everything.

Around 10 we headed home and messed around on the computer some more. We kept toying with the idea of going to Whataburger, but we woulda had to wait til G's fam went to bed, which didn't happen for a while and we both just passed the fuck out. I fell asleep in my hat, which I never do. In summary, it was a great night. G-man's a dude I can always count on. Stay tuned for the next installment!

ARTPOP (2013)

Well, here we are. All of my reviewing culminates here. If you came for the end, you won't be disappointed (hopefully). At the time of typing this, this is Lady Gaga's brand new and therefore most recent album, and as such, this will be the final review on this site for the time being.

In Spring of 2012, coincidentally around when I decided to fully renew my interest in Lady Gaga for the first time since 2009, she announced that she would indeed be releasing a fourth album. Not one to make the same mistake twice, she kept quiet about this record for quite some time instead of hyping it up, only revealing its title, "ARTPOP" (stylized in ALL CAPS WHOO) in early 2013. Save for a few vague hints dropped through Twitter and Facebook posts, nothing else was said about the album until it was said to be slated for a Spring 2013 release. Not soon after, it was pushed back to an indefinite date.

During Summer of that year, Gaga finally announced the first single, "Applause", to be released at the end of the Summer(it actually released early rather than getting delayed). In September, the official release date, 11/11/13, was revealed. She also performed seven of the album's songs for the first time at the iTunes Festival in London, which also featured other popular acts such as Katy Perry. Finally, a few weeks before the release date, the cover art and entire tracklist were both revealed. The night before the album's release, Lady Gaga hosted a special concert, the "artRAVE", where she performed the album in its entirety. So, after a lengthy absence from the spotlight, how did the album that me and many others long anticipated fare? Let's take a look.

Opening up with the powerful lead single (and fittingly, the final song on the album), "Applause", we're treated to an energetic, techno-infused beat with some very complimentary vocals. Here, she sings about the importance of her fanbase and how she, unlike many mainstream artists, genuinely cares about and is active with her Monsters. This theme will be revisited later, but that's not a bad thing in this case. "Aura", a song that was leaked during the Summer, is a bit slower-paced and has a hard-to-describe, "epic" feel to it. It's subject matter revolves around the real Lady Gaga behind all the crazy outfits and showiness; the girl behind the aura.

The album isn't without its love songs, such as the second single, "Do What U Want", featuring R. Kelly, who I enjoyed from his hilarious series, 'Trapped in the Closet', and it was nice to see him back. His guest verse added very positively to this song. Another promotional single, "Venus", can really get you pumped with its excellent sampling and lyrical balance between physical and emotional attraction. We then head straight to the bedroom with the assertive, driving beat of "G.U.Y. (Girl Under You)", and the erotic, sultry tune of "Sexxx Dreams", two songs about the act of sex itself and what it can entail. Gaga continues to showcase her undeniable sex appeal in "Jewels 'N' Drugs", a heavily hip-hop influenced jam featuring three memorable verses from influential southern rapper T.I., classic 90s gangsta rap artist Too $hort, and the criminally underrated speed demon, Twista.

The Lady sure knows how to tug at your emotions, an example being the tear-jerking but undeniably catchy "Gypsy", and yet another spectacular return to her roots with the bittersweet ballad, "Dope", a song she dedicated to her fans after having to cancel her most recent tour due to a hip injury. Also returning are her power pop-rock vibes, in "MANiCURE" (I love the pun, by the way), stomping its way in as one hell of an earworm. I can't help but think of a cheer squad at a football game when I hear this one. Fittingly, preceding "Dope" is "Mary Jane Holland", a song about, you guessed it, weed and self-indulgence, which also has a bittersweet feel to it.

A focal point to the aforementioned iTunes Festival was "Swine", a vocally shredding song that had her backup dancers wearing pig-themed gasmasks a la Mother 3. The festival was even named "Swinefest". Next on the list, what would a Gaga album be if it didn't touch on her love for all her signature shocking-yet-stylish clothing? She delivers well in this regard, with what is perhaps the most dance-oriented song on the CD, "Donatella", a tribute to well-known designer and long-time friend of Gaga, Donatella Versace. Keeping with this theme is "Fashion!", easily one of the best songs on the album. Her vocal prowess shines through masterfully here to the point of giving me chills!

Last and certainly not least is the title track. As it might suggest, the song is about the harmony of art and pop music. Lady Gaga restates the theme of putting raw passion into her work and focusing on the art itself and her fans rather than money and commercialism ("music, not the bling", as she says). Much like "Monster" before it, I consider this arguably the highest point of the album. Her title tracks are always unforgettable, and this is no exception.

I feel a lot different writing the closing thoughts for this review, as well as the review itself because, unlike her other albums, this one is still fresh in my mind and I haven't had several years to reflect on it the way I have her other work, so my opinions may change over time. Either way, I'll share my thoughts after I touch on something a bit.

ARTPOP has been receiving generally mixed reviews since its release, almost all of which I completely disagree with. I won't elaborate on this too much, but these "professional" reviewers get a lot of their facts wrong, make many statements in bad taste, and generally shouldn't be taken too seriously. This album's first-week sales were also small in comparison to her past work, being outsold, albeit very marginally by Miley Cyrus(who I don't really see the appeal in) and Katy Perry(who I enjoy, but not as much), due in part to their inconveniently close release dates.

The low sales can be largely attributed to the fact that many people do not buy music in this day and age, usually just torrenting it for free. Sadly, another contributing factor is that the kid and teen audience would rather have repetitive commercialized club music with little meaning to it than something deeper such as ARTPOP, which appealed to a more mature, adult audience.

As for me, I hope none of you found this review to be too positive. All of what you're reading is my unbiased opinion. I didn't say any of this just because I'm a fan, and honestly, I see ARTPOP as a very interesting experiment, and her best album since The Fame. I won't put it above that spot, but I'll definitely place it right beside it as an equal. My reasoning is that it had so many songs that were instant favorites, namely Dope, MANiCURE, ARTPOP, Gypsy, and Fashion!. Not many albums have five songs I can genuinely adore that much. Despite what reviewers say, this is definitely worth giving a listen to, and might even change your opinion on mainstream pop music. ARTPOP was well worth the wait and, for me, delivered what it promised.

Favorite track: ARTPOP
Least favorite track: Swine
Overall rating: 9.5/10

One-off songs (various)

I think I'm skipping straight to dessert ifyouknowwhatimeanbro

Just to preface things, this review will be pretty short, but I wanted something to bridge the rather sizable gap between Born This Way and the recently-released ARTPOP. Sorry it took me so long, so let's get on with it!

While Lady Gaga has countless unreleased songs that can be found all over the internet these days, there are the odd few that saw an official release without actually being part of an album or collection. These will be the subject of this review.

Earlier in her career, during the Fame days, she released a few songs digitally to promote the then-new album. "Vanity", one of her older songs with an interesting feel to it, came out around that time, as did "Fashion" (not to be confused with her brand-new song of the same title with an exclamation mark added), a simple-yet-catchy tune recorded for the popular TV shows, Sex and the City and Ugly Betty. Gaga originally wrote it for Heidi Montag, and they actually ended up both singing their own versions.

Also noteworthy was "Future Love", a charming, lighthearted piano love ballad that Gaga sang during her Fame Ball tour. It contains humorous lyrics alluding to space and related sciences, and even a Star Wars reference, of all things. There does not exist a studio version of this song, as Gaga says she believes that the fans make this song what it is.

During the 2008 Holiday season, she also released the double entendre-laden "Christmas Tree", featuring the DJ Space Cowboy, who worked with her a lot on The Fame. It contains a lot of sexual puns based on Christmas-related things. This was one of the first songs Gaga made as a "joke", and many people took it far too seriously. It was even made free on Amazon as a part of some Christmas music promo, and needless to say, it didn't blend in well with the traditional Holiday tunes.

Quite a few of these songs were released in 2012, probably to tide the fans over during the "down-time" between albums. This gave her more of an opportunity to "play around", so to speak. A lot of the songs released at this time were made with humor in mind and not meant to be taken seriously. 2012 saw songs about odd or inane things such as "Tea" (exactly what it says on the cup), or "Stache (Princess High)" (weed, if the title flew over your head).

Perhaps the most interesting of the bunch was "Cake Like Lady Gaga", the cover of which I used as the picture for this post. The entire song was one elaborate joke, starting as a supposed 'contest' held by DJ White Shadow, who made a hip-hop instrumental and posted it to twitter, saying that whoever made the best rap over the beat would have the song produced and published. Not soon after, the 'winner' was announced, though it was just Gaga herself, originally with her voice lowered to sound like a man(though the final product has her normal voice). The entire thing is, as you might have guessed, a rap song, which surprised fans who hadn't heard songs such as "Paper Gangsta" before. It is a very clear style parody of modern mainstream rap, featuring boasts of riches and success, and multiple uses of the word "swag". You may think otherwise on your first listen, but when she informs her critics that they "can suck her dick" in the final verse, it's plain to see that she's thrown all sincerity out the window in favor of humor and hyperbolic exaggeration. Despite it not being a "serious" song, she flows rather well and adds a sense of her signature sex appeal to the mix, proving that she can occasionally transcend genres. 

Not much to say on the closing thoughts here. These are all enjoyable songs for what they are. I already know I missed a few in this category; I simply picked the ones that stuck out to me the most. I do hope that Lady Gaga continues to produce these types of songs, if only for their playful, non-serious nature. I can't really say anything negative here because these songs aren't all over the place and therefore aren't "forced" on those who might dislike them. Check them out on YouTube or other media sites if you get the time.

Favorite track: Future Love, or Cake

Least favorite track: Tea
Overall rating: Unclassifiable

Born This Way (2011)

With two universally successful records already under her belt, the only logical step for Lady Gaga to take was to follow up on that success and put her creative influence to work once again. Not too long after her Monster Ball Tour was in full swing, she announced what she believed would be her magnum opus: Born This Way.

The promotion and marketing for this album was handled rather oddly, to say the least. Throughout the second half of 2010, Lady Gaga began to speak extravagantly about it, saying it was "the anthem of our generation", and "the greatest music I've ever written, I promise", as well as calling it her "chance to create what in 20 years will be seen as my iconic moment". Some of these statements date back to as early as March 2010, even before "Alejandro" released as a single.

She continued to tease the album during the later months, and eventually revealed the rather shocking album cover, which put off even the die-hard fans. Several crosspromotions were made to further hype the album, including this thing where you could unlock free downloads of some of Born This Way's songs early by playing a special variant of Farmville, of all things. So, did it live up to all the overwhelming hype? Let's break it down.

Unlike The Fame Monster, this was a true, full-length album, and as such, had room for a lot more songs and singles. The title track, released over three months before the actual album, is a now-iconic "self-respect anthem" that served to show Gaga's prominence as an icon in the LGBT community. It's catchy, driving, and sends a powerful message. The album also touches on gay marriage laws ("Americano"), revolution ("Bad Kids"), and womens' rights, in the powerful feminist anthem, "Scheisse", a personal favorite of mine.
My largest amount of criticism by far would have to go toward the album's second single, "Judas". I consider it the weakest song on the album, hands down (as well as my least favorite Lady Gaga song in general). The heavy religious reference in the lyrics makes it uncomfortable to listen to, and as a result, it got little to no radio play. It just has a generic sound to it that doesn't feel like the stuff Gaga can usually produce. To top it off, the music video is rather lackluster.

The third single, "The Edge of Glory", makes up for this however, with one of her best music videos to date, as well as a saxophone-heavy instrumental featuring the late Clarence Clemons, and lyrics about the last night of one's life. Clemons is also featured in the free-spirited, inspirational, and surprisingly relatable "Hair", the album's sole promotional single. "Bloody Mary", on the other hand, takes on a darker tone. It contains religious reference (as the title might suggest), but it's a bit more subtle than that of "Judas", and is generally a superior song overall.
The album ends off with four (five if you could "Edge of Glory") love songs, perhaps all lined up on purpose to give the album good pacing. "Highway Unicorn (Road to Love) offers carefree, uplifting tones, "Electric Chapel" sings of a sacred, safe place somewhere, and "Heavy Metal Lover" turns things up a notch with a aggressive beat and a variety of sexual themes. "You and I", the fourth single, is yet another of her trademark rock-piano ballads, this time using a sample from Queen for the basis of part of the song. It's an endearing love ballad that introduces her male alter-ego, Jo Calderone. Lastly, the fifth single, "Marry the Night" is a song about not letting life's troubles get you down, and serves as another high point to the album.

This album was, to say the least, a lot different. Gone were the "fun" themes of her first two records, replaced instead with more serious, mature tones speaking out on various issues. This wasn't a problem in my opinion, but several fans decried this change, claiming they "wanted the old, fun Gaga back". Whatever the case, let's answer our initial question: Was this in fact Lady Gaga's magnum opus? No. Was it a solid, well-crafted album that followed up her first two masterfully? Yes. The problem with this album wasn't the music itself, rather it was the marketing. Amazon.com was selling it for 99 cents each without Gaga's consent to promote the then-new Cloud music platform. The availability of the album was overwhelming; you could find it anywhere from convenience stores to airports at the time.

However, it mostly had to do with all the hype. It was just too much. When you hype up an album to that degree, there's no way anything you can release for the final product will ever live up to it. Born this Way was supposed to be this holy grail that would change the very face of music as we know it, and it wasn't; there's no way it could've been. The album also shows an example of the retroactive nature of Gaga's fanbase, who initially were put off by the album, but will now often cite it as their favorite in her career for the sheer fact that she wanted it to be. I personally consider her first two albums marginally better, but this is still a fantastic record worth looking into, especially with her fourth album, ARTPOP, very close on the horizon.

Favorite track: You and I
Least favorite track: Judas
Overall rating: 8.5/10

The Fame Monster (2009)

By Fall of 2009, The Fame was still fresh in our minds, with "Paparazzi" being released just a few months prior. However, unlike many mainstream artists before her, Lady Gaga knew not to ride out the success of just one record for too long. When her Fame Ball Tour ended in September, she announced a new CD, entitled The Fame Monster. Though it wasn't a full-length album, rather it was originally meant to be a "DLC add-on" to The Fame, hence the similar naming scheme.

Though this is, by definition, an EP (including only eight songs), most people(myself included) consider it Lady Gaga's second album, so I will refer to it as such for all intents and purposes. It was packaged in a two-disc set, with the second disc containing every song from The Fame.

As the title might suggest, this record was meant to delve into the darker side of fame (though her first album did that at several points already). Once again, themes are rather varied here. Each song is based on a "monster" representing one of Gaga's fears. Filled with gratuitous reference to pleasuring oneself, "So Happy I Could Die" touches on the fear of alcohol and addiction. The smash-hit lead single, "Bad Romance" refers to the fear of love, and is her biggest hit song even today. Other themes explored include the fear of the truth ("Teeth"), insecurity ("Dance in the Dark"), and even sex and abuse in the title track, "Monster", which I feel is the album's strongest point.

Arguably, the biggest highlight of this CD was its second single, "Telephone", a song Gaga originally wrote for fellow pop star Britney Spears. It features long-time favorite, Beyonce, as a guest. This was Gaga's first time collaborating with a big-name artist, which was impressive back then, as she was still relatively new. The song itself deals with the fear of suffocation (not literally, mind you, more so that of a significant other who's always "in your face"), and the music video serves as a sequel of sorts to "Paparazzi", and had a ton of production put into it. Beyonce's verse is quite brief, but it adds to the song positively. Bey plays a much larger role in the video. Not one to forget where she came from, Gaga returns to her rock-piano ballad roots with "Speechless", a song overflowing with emotion that touches on the fear of death. It was written for her father. The final single, "Alejandro" covers one of the more interesting fears: that of man himself. It's symbolic, yet catchy, much like its predecessors.

In closing, I think this record offers a little bit of everything, which is what the Lady is usually best at. It served as a worthy successor to her debut album and, despite its small number of songs, proved good enough to stand on its own. If I had to harp on anything about The Fame Monster, it would be the choice of singles. The three that were chosen, while enjoyable, didn't seem as great as "Monster", "So Happy I Could Die", and the other non-singles. The inclusion of the extra The Fame CD was a good way for newer fans to give her older work a listen, as well as a way to show that the records made a fitting pair. As with her first album, if you want dance-worthy earworms that still have meaning behind them, this might be worth looking into.

Favorite track: Monster
Least favorite track: Alejandro
Overall rating: 9/10