Sunday, December 1, 2013

Weed-ventures from last night....

So I randomly got the idea that I'll make a post on here every time I have an interesting weed-related story. I figure this would give me a chance to have some fun and just sorta throw my thoughts all over the place.

Warning: Some posts may or not be made while at an elevated state

So, me and the G-man have been smokin' all week more or less. Earlier I'd had a few seshes with Bex and her pipe and she gave me a lil of hers but I let her have most of it. It was her stache and I wasn't about to look like a mooch. Her and that chick with the godawful breath and the exact personality of Fluttershy totally made out on my bed, though. He he he. Her weed didn't taste very good, but it got me pretty faded, and in the end that's what matters.

Anyways back on subject, G-man touched base with me and we decided to try to get our hands on some of the green stuff. We ended up going all over town pawning various things we didn't need. A damn buck-fifty for three DVDs and a video game in perfect condition, you believe that horseshit? Last time I get short-changed by some third rate game store... So we ended up just selling G's old iPhone 4S. Damn thing wasn't about to get turned back on anytime soon, and it was slow as shit even when it was. Good riddance. 55 bucks, now that's more like it!.

Cash in tow, we headed to our buddy Deston's place. If there are two things I'm certain of, it's that that dude is always home and always has some weed on him. Dude's loaded and he knows it. He usually just keeps Reggie, but this time he had a bunch of corn instead! We ended up cleanin' the guy out, 40 bucks for three eighths of some great mid. They tried to say it was more, but G-man knew better. Haha. We were gonna spend the remaining 20 bucks on some 'dro from Ray, but we didn't have his number and my phone's been off since May. AT&T can KMA. It was really compressed and would've been a bitch and a half to break down were it not for that grinder Bex had given me. Score! We shared a pretty big blunt at his place, then parted ways for the night. He gave me a gram for myself, which was pretty chill.

I went to bed like right after I got home (I think) but I remember listening to music like I usually do while blazed. It's just not a complete experience without it. Cashmere Cat's "Mirror Maru" has been a favorite of mine recently, but you can ever go wrong with the Jody Den Broeder remix of Poker Face. It's like 7 minutes long but I swear it'll feel like 30 when you're faded. It's also really echo-ey which helps. Oh man, speaking of which I found this gem of a pic from the Fame Ball while I was high:

Isn't she just pure perfection? I mean, to each his own, but I'm completely serious when I say I'd marry her in a heartbeat, like for real. It's as if someone created my ideal woman, or something.

So anyways G blew through his stuff in less than a week, while I had a few average solo sessions during the night. Then he rolls up one morning wanting to smoke. I didn't have much to bring out other than a half-burned bowl and what little keef we could scrape out of the grinder. If only I hadn't dropped the other half-burnt stuff outside (fucking gloves!). Did I ever mention I'm painfully low-income? I can't help but feel bad for spending money on herb but I don't spend that much so it's whatever. So we smoke that but I end up getting most of the keef hits and get a lot higher than G. We tried hitting up Deston but he was at work, so we just headed to G's house and I fucked around on the computer for a few hours.

A whole minute later, we tried Deston's again since it was nighttime and he'd probably be home by then. Still wasn't, but my bro Clay from high school was. This guy's one of the most amicable dudes you'll meet. No hate in this nigga's heart. He let us have a joint and almost two bowls, so we got pretty faded this time. The guy puts in "Heat" and doesn't even turn the sound on. Lmao. So Clay and I catch up on old times and discuss weird kids from our high school. We didn't talk all that much back then, so it's great that we do now. G-man was just laying down on the bed stoned outta his mind. Dude pulls out a cigarette and just holds it in his hand for like an hour, doesn't even light it. Funny thing his, he acknowledged the fact several times. I laugh, but I'm no better. I was sitting there trying to devise a plan to pull a heist at one of the pawn shops. I must've been high to think we coulda split 20k each and boosted everything.

Around 10 we headed home and messed around on the computer some more. We kept toying with the idea of going to Whataburger, but we woulda had to wait til G's fam went to bed, which didn't happen for a while and we both just passed the fuck out. I fell asleep in my hat, which I never do. In summary, it was a great night. G-man's a dude I can always count on. Stay tuned for the next installment!

Friday, November 22, 2013

ARTPOP (2013)

Well, here we are. All of my reviewing culminates here. If you came for the end, you won't be disappointed (hopefully). At the time of typing this, this is Lady Gaga's brand new and therefore most recent album, and as such, this will be the final review on this site for the time being.

In Spring of 2012, coincidentally around when I decided to fully renew my interest in Lady Gaga for the first time since 2009, she announced that she would indeed be releasing a fourth album. Not one to make the same mistake twice, she kept quiet about this record for quite some time instead of hyping it up, only revealing its title, "ARTPOP" (stylized in ALL CAPS WHOO) in early 2013. Save for a few vague hints dropped through Twitter and Facebook posts, nothing else was said about the album until it was said to be slated for a Spring 2013 release. Not soon after, it was pushed back to an indefinite date.

During Summer of that year, Gaga finally announced the first single, "Applause", to be released at the end of the Summer(it actually released early rather than getting delayed). In September, the official release date, 11/11/13, was revealed. She also performed seven of the album's songs for the first time at the iTunes Festival in London, which also featured other popular acts such as Katy Perry. Finally, a few weeks before the release date, the cover art and entire tracklist were both revealed. The night before the album's release, Lady Gaga hosted a special concert, the "artRAVE", where she performed the album in its entirety. So, after a lengthy absence from the spotlight, how did the album that me and many others long anticipated fare? Let's take a look.

Opening up with the powerful lead single (and fittingly, the final song on the album), "Applause", we're treated to an energetic, techno-infused beat with some very complimentary vocals. Here, she sings about the importance of her fanbase and how she, unlike many mainstream artists, genuinely cares about and is active with her Monsters. This theme will be revisited later, but that's not a bad thing in this case. "Aura", a song that was leaked during the Summer, is a bit slower-paced and has a hard-to-describe, "epic" feel to it. It's subject matter revolves around the real Lady Gaga behind all the crazy outfits and showiness; the girl behind the aura.

The album isn't without its love songs, such as the second single, "Do What U Want", featuring R. Kelly, who I enjoyed from his hilarious series, 'Trapped in the Closet', and it was nice to see him back. His guest verse added very positively to this song. Another promotional single, "Venus", can really get you pumped with its excellent sampling and lyrical balance between physical and emotional attraction. We then head straight to the bedroom with the assertive, driving beat of "G.U.Y. (Girl Under You)", and the erotic, sultry tune of "Sexxx Dreams", two songs about the act of sex itself and what it can entail. Gaga continues to showcase her undeniable sex appeal in "Jewels 'N' Drugs", a heavily hip-hop influenced jam featuring three memorable verses from influential southern rapper T.I., classic 90s gangsta rap artist Too $hort, and the criminally underrated speed demon, Twista.

The Lady sure knows how to tug at your emotions, an example being the tear-jerking but undeniably catchy "Gypsy", and yet another spectacular return to her roots with the bittersweet ballad, "Dope", a song she dedicated to her fans after having to cancel her most recent tour due to a hip injury. Also returning are her power pop-rock vibes, in "MANiCURE" (I love the pun, by the way), stomping its way in as one hell of an earworm. I can't help but think of a cheer squad at a football game when I hear this one. Fittingly, preceding "Dope" is "Mary Jane Holland", a song about, you guessed it, weed and self-indulgence, which also has a bittersweet feel to it.

A focal point to the aforementioned iTunes Festival was "Swine", a vocally shredding song that had her backup dancers wearing pig-themed gasmasks a la Mother 3. The festival was even named "Swinefest". Next on the list, what would a Gaga album be if it didn't touch on her love for all her signature shocking-yet-stylish clothing? She delivers well in this regard, with what is perhaps the most dance-oriented song on the CD, "Donatella", a tribute to well-known designer and long-time friend of Gaga, Donatella Versace. Keeping with this theme is "Fashion!", easily one of the best songs on the album. Her vocal prowess shines through masterfully here to the point of giving me chills!

Last and certainly not least is the title track. As it might suggest, the song is about the harmony of art and pop music. Lady Gaga restates the theme of putting raw passion into her work and focusing on the art itself and her fans rather than money and commercialism ("music, not the bling", as she says). Much like "Monster" before it, I consider this arguably the highest point of the album. Her title tracks are always unforgettable, and this is no exception.

I feel a lot different writing the closing thoughts for this review, as well as the review itself because, unlike her other albums, this one is still fresh in my mind and I haven't had several years to reflect on it the way I have her other work, so my opinions may change over time. Either way, I'll share my thoughts after I touch on something a bit.

ARTPOP has been receiving generally mixed reviews since its release, almost all of which I completely disagree with. I won't elaborate on this too much, but these "professional" reviewers get a lot of their facts wrong, make many statements in bad taste, and generally shouldn't be taken too seriously. This album's first-week sales were also small in comparison to her past work, being outsold, albeit very marginally by Miley Cyrus(who I don't really see the appeal in) and Katy Perry(who I enjoy, but not as much), due in part to their inconveniently close release dates.

The low sales can be largely attributed to the fact that many people do not buy music in this day and age, usually just torrenting it for free. Sadly, another contributing factor is that the kid and teen audience would rather have repetitive commercialized club music with little meaning to it than something deeper such as ARTPOP, which appealed to a more mature, adult audience.

As for me, I hope none of you found this review to be too positive. All of what you're reading is my unbiased opinion. I didn't say any of this just because I'm a fan, and honestly, I see ARTPOP as a very interesting experiment, and her best album since The Fame. I won't put it above that spot, but I'll definitely place it right beside it as an equal. My reasoning is that it had so many songs that were instant favorites, namely Dope, MANiCURE, ARTPOP, Gypsy, and Fashion!. Not many albums have five songs I can genuinely adore that much. Despite what reviewers say, this is definitely worth giving a listen to, and might even change your opinion on mainstream pop music. ARTPOP was well worth the wait and, for me, delivered what it promised.

Favorite track: ARTPOP
Least favorite track: Swine
Overall rating: 9.5/10

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

One-off songs (various)

I think I'm skipping straight to dessert ifyouknowwhatimeanbro

Just to preface things, this review will be pretty short, but I wanted something to bridge the rather sizable gap between Born This Way and the recently-released ARTPOP. Sorry it took me so long, so let's get on with it!

While Lady Gaga has countless unreleased songs that can be found all over the internet these days, there are the odd few that saw an official release without actually being part of an album or collection. These will be the subject of this review.

Earlier in her career, during the Fame days, she released a few songs digitally to promote the then-new album. "Vanity", one of her older songs with an interesting feel to it, came out around that time, as did "Fashion" (not to be confused with her brand-new song of the same title with an exclamation mark added), a simple-yet-catchy tune recorded for the popular TV shows, Sex and the City and Ugly Betty. Gaga originally wrote it for Heidi Montag, and they actually ended up both singing their own versions.

Also noteworthy was "Future Love", a charming, lighthearted piano love ballad that Gaga sang during her Fame Ball tour. It contains humorous lyrics alluding to space and related sciences, and even a Star Wars reference, of all things. There does not exist a studio version of this song, as Gaga says she believes that the fans make this song what it is.

During the 2008 Holiday season, she also released the double entendre-laden "Christmas Tree", featuring the DJ Space Cowboy, who worked with her a lot on The Fame. It contains a lot of sexual puns based on Christmas-related things. This was one of the first songs Gaga made as a "joke", and many people took it far too seriously. It was even made free on Amazon as a part of some Christmas music promo, and needless to say, it didn't blend in well with the traditional Holiday tunes.

Quite a few of these songs were released in 2012, probably to tide the fans over during the "down-time" between albums. This gave her more of an opportunity to "play around", so to speak. A lot of the songs released at this time were made with humor in mind and not meant to be taken seriously. 2012 saw songs about odd or inane things such as "Tea" (exactly what it says on the cup), or "Stache (Princess High)" (weed, if the title flew over your head).

Perhaps the most interesting of the bunch was "Cake Like Lady Gaga", the cover of which I used as the picture for this post. The entire song was one elaborate joke, starting as a supposed 'contest' held by DJ White Shadow, who made a hip-hop instrumental and posted it to twitter, saying that whoever made the best rap over the beat would have the song produced and published. Not soon after, the 'winner' was announced, though it was just Gaga herself, originally with her voice lowered to sound like a man(though the final product has her normal voice). The entire thing is, as you might have guessed, a rap song, which surprised fans who hadn't heard songs such as "Paper Gangsta" before. It is a very clear style parody of modern mainstream rap, featuring boasts of riches and success, and multiple uses of the word "swag". You may think otherwise on your first listen, but when she informs her critics that they "can suck her dick" in the final verse, it's plain to see that she's thrown all sincerity out the window in favor of humor and hyperbolic exaggeration. Despite it not being a "serious" song, she flows rather well and adds a sense of her signature sex appeal to the mix, proving that she can occasionally transcend genres. 

Not much to say on the closing thoughts here. These are all enjoyable songs for what they are. I already know I missed a few in this category; I simply picked the ones that stuck out to me the most. I do hope that Lady Gaga continues to produce these types of songs, if only for their playful, non-serious nature. I can't really say anything negative here because these songs aren't all over the place and therefore aren't "forced" on those who might dislike them. Check them out on YouTube or other media sites if you get the time.

Favorite track: Future Love, or Cake
Least favorite track: Tea
Overall rating: Unclassifiable

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Born This Way (2011)

With two universally successful records already under her belt, the only logical step for Lady Gaga to take was to follow up on that success and put her creative influence to work once again. Not too long after her Monster Ball Tour was in full swing, she announced what she believed would be her magnum opus: Born This Way.

The promotion and marketing for this album was handled rather oddly, to say the least. Throughout the second half of 2010, Lady Gaga began to speak extravagantly about it, saying it was "the anthem of our generation", and "the greatest music I've ever written, I promise", as well as calling it her "chance to create what in 20 years will be seen as my iconic moment". Some of these statements date back to as early as March 2010, even before "Alejandro" released as a single.

She continued to tease the album during the later months, and eventually revealed the rather shocking album cover, which put off even the die-hard fans. Several crosspromotions were made to further hype the album, including this thing where you could unlock free downloads of some of Born This Way's songs early by playing a special variant of Farmville, of all things. So, did it live up to all the overwhelming hype? Let's break it down.

Unlike The Fame Monster, this was a true, full-length album, and as such, had room for a lot more songs and singles. The title track, released over three months before the actual album, is a now-iconic "self-respect anthem" that served to show Gaga's prominence as an icon in the LGBT community. It's catchy, driving, and sends a powerful message. The album also touches on gay marriage laws ("Americano"), revolution ("Bad Kids"), and womens' rights, in the powerful feminist anthem, "Scheisse", a personal favorite of mine.
My largest amount of criticism by far would have to go toward the album's second single, "Judas". I consider it the weakest song on the album, hands down (as well as my least favorite Lady Gaga song in general). The heavy religious reference in the lyrics makes it uncomfortable to listen to, and as a result, it got little to no radio play. It just has a generic sound to it that doesn't feel like the stuff Gaga can usually produce. To top it off, the music video is rather lackluster.

The third single, "The Edge of Glory", makes up for this however, with one of her best music videos to date, as well as a saxophone-heavy instrumental featuring the late Clarence Clemons, and lyrics about the last night of one's life. Clemons is also featured in the free-spirited, inspirational, and surprisingly relatable "Hair", the album's sole promotional single. "Bloody Mary", on the other hand, takes on a darker tone. It contains religious reference (as the title might suggest), but it's a bit more subtle than that of "Judas", and is generally a superior song overall.
The album ends off with four (five if you could "Edge of Glory") love songs, perhaps all lined up on purpose to give the album good pacing. "Highway Unicorn (Road to Love) offers carefree, uplifting tones, "Electric Chapel" sings of a sacred, safe place somewhere, and "Heavy Metal Lover" turns things up a notch with a aggressive beat and a variety of sexual themes. "You and I", the fourth single, is yet another of her trademark rock-piano ballads, this time using a sample from Queen for the basis of part of the song. It's an endearing love ballad that introduces her male alter-ego, Jo Calderone. Lastly, the fifth single, "Marry the Night" is a song about not letting life's troubles get you down, and serves as another high point to the album.

This album was, to say the least, a lot different. Gone were the "fun" themes of her first two records, replaced instead with more serious, mature tones speaking out on various issues. This wasn't a problem in my opinion, but several fans decried this change, claiming they "wanted the old, fun Gaga back". Whatever the case, let's answer our initial question: Was this in fact Lady Gaga's magnum opus? No. Was it a solid, well-crafted album that followed up her first two masterfully? Yes. The problem with this album wasn't the music itself, rather it was the marketing. was selling it for 99 cents each without Gaga's consent to promote the then-new Cloud music platform. The availability of the album was overwhelming; you could find it anywhere from convenience stores to airports at the time.

However, it mostly had to do with all the hype. It was just too much. When you hype up an album to that degree, there's no way anything you can release for the final product will ever live up to it. Born this Way was supposed to be this holy grail that would change the very face of music as we know it, and it wasn't; there's no way it could've been. The album also shows an example of the retroactive nature of Gaga's fanbase, who initially were put off by the album, but will now often cite it as their favorite in her career for the sheer fact that she wanted it to be. I personally consider her first two albums marginally better, but this is still a fantastic record worth looking into, especially with her fourth album, ARTPOP, very close on the horizon.

Favorite track: You and I
Least favorite track: Judas
Overall rating: 8.5/10

Monday, October 28, 2013

The Fame Monster (2009)

By Fall of 2009, The Fame was still fresh in our minds, with "Paparazzi" being released just a few months prior. However, unlike many mainstream artists before her, Lady Gaga knew not to ride out the success of just one record for too long. When her Fame Ball Tour ended in September, she announced a new CD, entitled The Fame Monster. Though it wasn't a full-length album, rather it was originally meant to be a "DLC add-on" to The Fame, hence the similar naming scheme.

Though this is, by definition, an EP (including only eight songs), most people(myself included) consider it Lady Gaga's second album, so I will refer to it as such for all intents and purposes. It was packaged in a two-disc set, with the second disc containing every song from The Fame.

As the title might suggest, this record was meant to delve into the darker side of fame (though her first album did that at several points already). Once again, themes are rather varied here. Each song is based on a "monster" representing one of Gaga's fears. Filled with gratuitous reference to pleasuring oneself, "So Happy I Could Die" touches on the fear of alcohol and addiction. The smash-hit lead single, "Bad Romance" refers to the fear of love, and is her biggest hit song even today. Other themes explored include the fear of the truth ("Teeth"), insecurity ("Dance in the Dark"), and even sex and abuse in the title track, "Monster", which I feel is the album's strongest point.

Arguably, the biggest highlight of this CD was its second single, "Telephone", a song Gaga originally wrote for fellow pop star Britney Spears. It features long-time favorite, Beyonce, as a guest. This was Gaga's first time collaborating with a big-name artist, which was impressive back then, as she was still relatively new. The song itself deals with the fear of suffocation (not literally, mind you, more so that of a significant other who's always "in your face"), and the music video serves as a sequel of sorts to "Paparazzi", and had a ton of production put into it. Beyonce's verse is quite brief, but it adds to the song positively. Bey plays a much larger role in the video. Not one to forget where she came from, Gaga returns to her rock-piano ballad roots with "Speechless", a song overflowing with emotion that touches on the fear of death. It was written for her father. The final single, "Alejandro" covers one of the more interesting fears: that of man himself. It's symbolic, yet catchy, much like its predecessors.

In closing, I think this record offers a little bit of everything, which is what the Lady is usually best at. It served as a worthy successor to her debut album and, despite its small number of songs, proved good enough to stand on its own. If I had to harp on anything about The Fame Monster, it would be the choice of singles. The three that were chosen, while enjoyable, didn't seem as great as "Monster", "So Happy I Could Die", and the other non-singles. The inclusion of the extra The Fame CD was a good way for newer fans to give her older work a listen, as well as a way to show that the records made a fitting pair. As with her first album, if you want dance-worthy earworms that still have meaning behind them, this might be worth looking into.

Favorite track: Monster
Least favorite track: Alejandro
Overall rating: 9/10

Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Fame (2008)

After several years of working in a studio independently, Stefani Germanotta, having now adopted the stage name of Lady Gaga (after Queen's song, Radio Ga Ga), was signed to Interscope Records, partially through the help of R&B singer Akon, as well as Cherrytree Records (a company that specializes in getting newer artists more known). With a big-name record label at her side, she was able to produce her first studio album, The Fame, and rocket herself to the top of the charts.

Though this album released officially in mid-2008, several other countries got it before the U.S., who ended up getting a modified release at the end of that year. Still, there was minimal advertisement for the album, so most people, myself included, hadn't even heard of Lady Gaga until the beginning of 2009, when advertisement became more prevalent.

As the title might suggest, many of this album's songs center around just that- Fame. However, this is hardly a concept album. Themes are noticeably varied here. Many of the songs featured here were ones Gaga had written before she was famous, during her short run with her independent record company, Team Love Child. This album features "Just Dance", a powerful lead single that's simplistic, yet enjoyable for the fun party song that it is. Her now iconic hit, "Poker Face", was her first real chance to be herself and show the music world what she was about, as the music video showcases her unique, outlandish outfits that she's now rarely seen without.
The sexually-charged "LoveGame" quickly became notorious for its explicit themes, but was a high point of the album nonetheless. One of the most notable songs from Team Love Child was undoubtedly highlight of the album, "Paparazzi". It carries a sultry beat and tells the story of an obsessed stalker, with plenty of complex, strange lyrics. I consider it her best single to date.

If all that wasn't enough, the album even switches up the genre from time to time, straying from its electro-pop foundation to the bittersweet rock ballads, "Brown Eyes", a relatable song about a lost love(and my personal favorite song of hers) and "Again, Again", as well as the sunny pop-rock song, "Summerboy", and even a surprisingly sentimental and emotional rap song, "Paper Gangsta", revolving around her departure from another well-known record label, Island Def Jam. Hip-hop influence is also seen in "Starstruck", which is about as sexual as "LoveGame", and features rapper Flo-Rida.

The third single, "Eh, Eh(Nothing Else I Can Say)", provided a feel-good, positive tune that served as a nice break between the "bad girl" tones of the other singles. I initially disliked "Boys Boys Boys" and "Money Honey", but they grew on me over time. The title track, on the other hand, was something I enjoyed from the get-go. It's a very tongue-in-cheek song about the lifestyles of the famous. Lastly, two '70s-style dance songs, "Disco Heaven" and "Retro Dance Freak", serve as bonus tracks to end the album off rather well.

My final thoughts are a bit all over the place. It could be because this album released right around the time I had my "musical awakening"(and helped further it). It could be the fact that I quickly developed a crush on the singer after this CD's release. Whatever the case, The Fame still holds the spot as my favorite pop album of all time, and this is coming from a die-hard hip-hop head that rarely listens to pop.

This album served to solidify the career of one of the most refreshing faces in dance music in the past few years, and was a near-instant success. Each of this album's singles were undeniable earworms whether you liked them or not, and I see the album itself as a perfect balance between catchy, club-and-radio-friendly hits and deep, emotional songs that get you thinking. If you're put off by the poppy beats of the five singles, I'd perhaps suggest giving the rest of the album a spin.

Favorite track: Brown Eyes
Least favorite track: Money Honey
Overall rating: 10/10

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Red and Blue (2005)

And no, I'm not talking about the original Pokemon games.

Back in 2005, a then-unknown aspiring 19-year-old musician from New York by the name of Stefani Germanotta, who'd had an enthusiastic interest in music since age four, formed a band with some of her friends, entitled "The Stefani Germanotta Band", or "SGBand" for short. They began playing music, mostly cover songs from bands such as Led Zeppelin, in random bars around NYC, usually to an audience of around 30 or so people. Eventually, Stefani recorded her first, and ultimately only EP with the band, entitled Red and Blue.

Looking back on it now, It's more than a little odd to think about how this is who would eventually become Lady Gaga herself. This CD was her only officially-released material prior to her ascension to superstardom. It was released independently, and therefore current mainstays such as Vincent Herbert and DJ White Shadow were not involved with production. On a side note, only her first name is shown on the CD cover. Was she considering a mononym before she chose her stage name?

The EP itself could be considered quite different from her studio albums. It has a very retro, almost 50s style to it. It contains only 5 songs, but is an interesting collection nonetheless. The power pop-rock sounds of "Something Crazy" and "Red and Blue" add energy and romance to the CD, while the melancholy, bittersweet tunes heard in "Words" and "Wish You Were Here" evoke more seriousness and emotion. "No Floods" shares the positive, can-do attitude of her later hit song "Marry The Night", and helps to show where she came from. Though it has prominent pop elements, most of the songs here are very rock-based unlike the electro-pop and EDM styles featured in her new stuff. Nowadays, this CD is nigh-impossible to find in its physical form, and would likely fetch a high price, though the songs are all over YouTube and other sites if you wish to give them a listen.

In conclusion, while some could say this EP is a stark contrast to her current work, I think it still has that very recognizable Gaga "touch" to it. The main difference here is that these songs aren't as overproduced and give her vocal and piano skill more of a chance to shine through. Fan or not, this is something I'd highly recommend to you, especially if you'd like to see a different side of the Lady.

Favorite track: Something Crazy
Least favorite track: No Floods
Overall rating: 9/10

Random update.

Terribly sorry to anyone who follows this that I haven't updated in ages. Don't worry, I didn't forget about it. The fact of the matter is, this massive creepypasta project is a lot for me to handle, and most of my creative time has gone towards a fanfiction I finished earlier, and an even bigger Halo 4 machinima project I'm still working on. I'll still finish the creepypasta at some point, though. I'll try to update it at least once soon.

In the meantime, in preparation for my video review of Lady Gaga's upcoming album, ARTPOP, I will be reviewing her entire discography, one post at a time on here. I got the idea to do so from a good friend of mine who is reviewing each of Eminem's albums.

You should definitely give his blog a visit. As Lady Gaga is still a relatively new artist, I'll also include her pre-fame EP, Red and Blue, as well as a separate post going over her "one-off" songs that weren't on any particular album or collection. I won't do the majority of her unreleased pre-fame songs just for the sheer fact that there are so many of them, nor will I be covering the remix CDs. Hope you enjoy!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Part 3 - The Concert

I was halfway to my garage when I stopped myself mid-stride and realized, "how in the mother of fuck am I going to get to a Lady Gaga concert, let alone meet the woman?" I was strangely determined to do this, even more so than my usual strange endeavors of the past. I decided to check around with my friends on Facebook and other sites to see if I could get any connections or pull some strings. I was pretty certain as to who my ace in the hole was, but I decided to ask a few others anyway.

Sure enough, those efforts turned up fruitless, so I texted Nichole. She was a friend I had made a few months ago, and a huge fan of Gaga's. More importantly, she was also a nail stylist to the stars. She had met such household names as Paris Hilton, Tyga, Will Smith, and plenty others. It was a wonder she wasn't famous herself. After a bit of catching up, I asked if she had the honor of meeting Mother Monster herself. My luck must have truly shone through when she said she in fact had. She told me about the encounter, how Gaga wanted a strange, intricate, almost fear inducing design on her nails and about how the two conversed, discussing music and fashion. She sent me a picture of the nails, and said they looked like claws, but I thought they looked rather nice. I asked about getting some concert tickets, and as my streak of luck continued, she said she'd not only do that, but procure the exact thing I needed: a backstage pass! She apparently knew one of Gaga's managers and got ahold of it through him.

I eagerly got in my Jeep and drove to her house, not even worrying about how she managed all this. I arrived quickly, and was greeted at the door by her. Her bright pink-and-purple hair fashioned into straight-cut bangs called imagery of Twilight Sparkle to mind. I told her I couldn't stay long, so she quickly handed me both items. She didn't seem at all disappointed that she couldn't use them herself. A bit odd, but she insisted that I deserve this opportunity. I hugged her and gave my immense thanks. She wished me luck as I headed back to the car. I took a closer look at both items. The ticket was a full-size piece of paper showing information such as the event's rules, and my seating. The backstage pass was quite plain; just a long, laminated strip bearing Lady Gaga's visage with "BACKSTAGE PASS - ONE ENTRY ONLY" and a number code on it.

The concert wasn't until tomorrow, but I was brimming with excitement! I went ahead and drove to the venue, making sure I had everything with me, and dozed off in my car. I slipped into a rather trippy dream involving the concert and floating in some sort of abyss. It's really hard to explain, but then again, dreams are tough to remember.

 A few hours passed and I was woken up by some banter I heard from the other side of the parking lot; a group of swaggies arguing over who had the biggest killstreaks in Black Ops. Ugh. I ignored this and checked the time. It was still a good five hours til the concert, so I made a quick run to the donut stop and got a few things to snack on, and some tea. I was still to excited to do much else, so I figured I'd prepare my "natural enhancement". I broke down the buds, and carefully placed the ground herb into a Juicy Jay rolling paper. I don't like to brag, but I was one of the more skilled rollers among people I knew. After a bit of rummaging between the seats, I managed to find a lighter. See, I'm really paranoid about losing these. You have no idea how much of a bitch they are to obtain without an ID. An hour or two later, I lit the stuff up.

At long last, people were filing in to be serenaded by the enigmatic pop princess. I was dressed for the occasion with my bright red Lady Gaga shirt, featuring a caption of her saying "Can I try this on please?" with her holding up a steak. I was also wearing 2 hats for some reason. I was pretty fried and incoherent by this point, but still managed to be one of the first inside. The staff didn't ask me anything, but did give me some strange looks as I was directed to my seat. Continuing my streak of luck, it was one of the front row seats! I let out a dopey giggle as I stumbled to the chair. This must've been some good stuff.

Anyway, the place looked absolutely dazzling. The room itself was a sort of "A" shape, and curiously did not have the prestigious Monster Pit that most of her shows featured. It was kind of like the venue in Dallas from the Fame Ball Tour back in the day. But yeah, the place was positively full of energy. Die-hard fans such as myself lined the stands left and right. Several girls and even some boys showcased their detailed cosplays of Gaga's various well-known outfits. Opening for Gaga was a dubstep DJ playing various remixes of popular songs. The one that caught my attention the most was Sex Bob-Omb's "Garbage Truck". Being a fan of Scott Pilgrim, I appreciated this mix being played. This segment went on for about an hour and a half.

The entire arena went pitch-black as the DJ exited the stage and the curtains fell, only to be illuminated by flashing strobe lights that made me hope no one here was epileptic. The curtains opened again, an all-too-familiar beat pulsed through the room, and rising from a platform hidden within the stage was Lady Gaga, in the flesh.

One of the best things about her shows was seeing what elaborate, garish outfit she would be sporting this time. I was pretty excited for this part of the show myself. This outfit sure was...something. It was primarily black and green, and it lit up brightly. The top part looked like armor of some sort, with spikes on it, and it was asymmetrical. The bottom part looked like wings pointing toward the ground. The design and color scheme reminded me of Cell from Dragon Ball Z. It separated near her hips, allowing full view of her voluptuous legs. Her hair was styled in one of her more common looks, mid-length, bright blonde, and straight with bangs(If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the music videos for "Edge of Glory" and "Paparazzi"), with a plastic bow that also lit up green. Matching eye shadow of a verdant tone brought out her stunning gaze, and her lipstick was a bright rose hue.

The aforementioned familiar beat was the intro to what I consider her signature song, and the song that made me a fan, "Poker Face". Maybe it was the high, but I felt somewhat hypnotized by this opening performance. All the cheering around me was suddenly absent as she energetically sang and even showcased some dance moves, flanked by six female backup dancers. They seemed to be phasing in and out of existence, but I figured it was just the stage effects. I stood up and began doing some dancing of my own. She finished that song and began another one of my favorites, "Edge of Glory". After that song, the beat faded and she greeted the crowd with excitement. After a bit of talking about the concert, she looked directly at me and said what I made out as, "Haha! I like your shirt! I know you're wasted!" I couldn't see it, but I think I blushed as red as that shirt. My eyes must've given away my current condition. This got me even more hyped.

She went back to speaking and began to talk about her early life and her struggle to get recognized as a musician, as well as her getting into heavy drug usage, and her battle with anorexia that went on for several years. She had quite the colorful past, and getting this much insight on it was admittedly interesting! She then talked about her strive for equality and her activism in the LGBT community, hoping that her music sent a positive message in that regard. She concluded this by saying she hoped everyone loved the concert, and segued into "Yoü and I". From here she did several songs from each of her albums. "Telephone", "Born This Way", "Eh, Eh,", "Bad Romance", "Just Dance", "Alejandro", "Americano", "LoveGame", "Bloody Mary", "Cake", and several more, each with spectacular lightshows and stage performance. Several parts of the stage actually transformed between songs, and the live versions sounded orgasmic compared to the studio versions I was used to.

Finally, that beat that seemed to twist every which way began to fill the venue. It was time for her to perform "Paparazzi". Again, that hypnotic vibe exuded from the stage, but this part was pretty fucking awesome. This was easily her best single in my opinion, and the live version was even more enthralling. Seconds after the song ended, she grinned deviously at the audience, and proclaimed, " the last song. And the last to die." I laughed to myself a bit, as she had unintentionally quoted Legacy of Kain. The lights all turned to red and orange hues as "Marry the Night" cued up. The whole performance was full of pyrotechnics. Fireworks sparked everywhere and it looked like the stage itself was burning away. At one point, the whole stage looked as if it were engulfed in explosions and flames, but Gaga and her entourage emerged unscathed. Her walking away from the explosion reminded me of some action movie.

As the last song faded, she thanked everyone for being an energetic audience, and various instrumentals began playing as she danced. Several others had already clambered their way onstage and began doing the same, so I saw no harm in joining them. I was having so much fun that I didn't even realize that the concert had lasted a solid 4 and a half hours. It was almost midnight. Soon, she departed, and I surmised that this would be as good a time as any to brandish my backstage pass. I strolled up to the stage doors like I owned the place, and invited myself in. I showed the pass to the security, who said they were expecting me. They probably figured at least one person had a pass. I headed on through.

My heart pounded as I was met with her piercing gaze.

Monday, February 4, 2013


Sorry I've not been on in awhile, but I figured the few people who follow this wouldn't care all that much and I honestly forgot about it for awhile, lol! Anyhow, Tuesday on the 29th was pretty fucking epic. Why? I attended the spectacular Dallas show of Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball tour! It was the first concert I've ever been to and it was nothing short of enthralling and euphoric. I bought the tickets myself and got pretty great seats, but as I can't seem to obtain a driver's license, I had to find other means of reaching the venue in Dallas. Luckily, the infallible Isabella was able to handle that, for a price of course. Anyways, where to start. Light up castle. Horse. Crazy ass inflatable birth sequence. Disco sticks. Meat dress. Meat couch. Great music. Great performance, visuals, showiness, it was one of the funnest nights of my life! I think LoveGame was my favorite part. Of course, I took a few good tokes before leaving to enhance the experience a bit, hehe. I danced and cheered the whole time. I was aching and covered in sweat by the end, and I didn't sit down until she left the stage. Whew! Sadly didn't get to get any merch but got a few pics. My Gaga shirt was way better than the stuff they were selling anyways lol. But yeah. Great show. And don't even get me started on how utterly fucking gorgeous she was the whole time. Boy let me tell ya. That Lady exudes hawtness. Any time I wasn't watching the crazy performance, I was getting the best view of her(quite sizeable and underrated)ass.She could take a ride on my Disco Stick any day of the week. She should totally ditch that Taylor Kinney chump for a real Monstrous man like me! Huh! Hah! *pose* I could totally look past the six-year age difference. Heheh.

I know, I have an incredibly weird taste in women. Whatchagonnado?

Partially related, I WILL have the next part of the pasta up soon. I got some ass to kick first. See ya!